yuunnie
Aug 22, 2015
Undergraduate / Asian Family / Self-Esteem - 'Bump in the road' UCF ESSAY HELP [5]
Please , i need some advices about what is wrong with my essay, grammar,structure, etc. what needs to be corrected? this is what i have so far thank you
1- if there has been some obstacles or "bump in the road" in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
My life so far has had many "bumps" that I have been and still going through till this day. I battle with self-esteem issues and mostly distrust with my family. In many Asian families we are told to respect our elder or suffer the consequences and I'm sure other cultures it is the same. In My case my parents are especially to this day very disciplining. I feel that because of that I don't get to experience as much as others my age. For example others may stay out at late hours of the night and do whatever they want. I know what you're thinking "you're about to go to college why don't you just tell them to back off" but that's already been done and I always have a constant fear of them giving me the boot, it's not like I hasn't happened before. I remember I went out to get something from a friend's house that I have forgotten. I didn't tell my parents where I was going because I thought I was going to be quick and short and I was going to be back home in less than 10 minutes. But when I go home my parents were waiting and I know they were worried but I am technically a legal adult. But they took away my keys and my phone and at that point I had enough so I packed my bags and was going to sneak back my keys and drive to my boyfriend's house. Before I can get downstairs my mom asked where they keys were and so I dashed out and try to get into the car. Before I could start the car I was forced to get out, then they left me since Friday but I told them I wanted to leave and call someone to pick me up, I need my phone to see the number of my boyfriend but they refused to give me my phone. My dad told me that he would take me over there, so I got in my car with my stuff and we drove. Then we pulled in the driveway my boyfriend's car wasn't there, my dad told me to wake up his parents but I didn't want to because I know the wake up really early to go to work, but my dad made me. After ringing the doorbell a few times my boyfriend's dad came to the door, when he started talk I couldn't do anything but look at the floor and cry. He started to talk with my dad, then my boyfriend pulled in the drive way, he asked what was going on and my dad told both of them that I wanted to live at their house. But after talking with my boyfriend he told me that I should go home, that made me feel very unwanted, I felt like I couldn't trust anyone to have my back in my time in need and also I felt like my boyfriend lied to me when he said I could stay with him if I ever got thrown out again. That night I eventually went home and didn't speak to my parents or anyone for a whole week. I feel they should have put more trust in to me. Even if I have the courage to lash out I have that little voice always telling me that's its rude and I end up not saying anything. I feel like I would be a bad public speaker or anything involving debating, because at time I can become timid and somewhat mute. But towards my friends I'm loud and rambunctious and outgoing. At times it's hard to voice my opinions and I feel in a way I have a split personally or a double life per se. my thoughts are that my voice is discouraged because My family would always be put down like relatives or parents reminding me of my flaws and that would lower my self-esteem. I always told myself to not let them get to me, but sometimes it's too much. I'm the type of person that bottles everything up and breaks down when it's been too much. It's hard to keep you're cool sometimes I often clam myself down by insulting in silence or just letting loose the water works. I don't like to intentionally hurt people and I dislike conflict. I rarely will get in to any verbal fight because I feel if there's nothing nice to say in front of someone you should say it at all.
Please , i need some advices about what is wrong with my essay, grammar,structure, etc. what needs to be corrected? this is what i have so far thank you
1- if there has been some obstacles or "bump in the road" in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
My life so far has had many "bumps" that I have been and still going through till this day. I battle with self-esteem issues and mostly distrust with my family. In many Asian families we are told to respect our elder or suffer the consequences and I'm sure other cultures it is the same. In My case my parents are especially to this day very disciplining. I feel that because of that I don't get to experience as much as others my age. For example others may stay out at late hours of the night and do whatever they want. I know what you're thinking "you're about to go to college why don't you just tell them to back off" but that's already been done and I always have a constant fear of them giving me the boot, it's not like I hasn't happened before. I remember I went out to get something from a friend's house that I have forgotten. I didn't tell my parents where I was going because I thought I was going to be quick and short and I was going to be back home in less than 10 minutes. But when I go home my parents were waiting and I know they were worried but I am technically a legal adult. But they took away my keys and my phone and at that point I had enough so I packed my bags and was going to sneak back my keys and drive to my boyfriend's house. Before I can get downstairs my mom asked where they keys were and so I dashed out and try to get into the car. Before I could start the car I was forced to get out, then they left me since Friday but I told them I wanted to leave and call someone to pick me up, I need my phone to see the number of my boyfriend but they refused to give me my phone. My dad told me that he would take me over there, so I got in my car with my stuff and we drove. Then we pulled in the driveway my boyfriend's car wasn't there, my dad told me to wake up his parents but I didn't want to because I know the wake up really early to go to work, but my dad made me. After ringing the doorbell a few times my boyfriend's dad came to the door, when he started talk I couldn't do anything but look at the floor and cry. He started to talk with my dad, then my boyfriend pulled in the drive way, he asked what was going on and my dad told both of them that I wanted to live at their house. But after talking with my boyfriend he told me that I should go home, that made me feel very unwanted, I felt like I couldn't trust anyone to have my back in my time in need and also I felt like my boyfriend lied to me when he said I could stay with him if I ever got thrown out again. That night I eventually went home and didn't speak to my parents or anyone for a whole week. I feel they should have put more trust in to me. Even if I have the courage to lash out I have that little voice always telling me that's its rude and I end up not saying anything. I feel like I would be a bad public speaker or anything involving debating, because at time I can become timid and somewhat mute. But towards my friends I'm loud and rambunctious and outgoing. At times it's hard to voice my opinions and I feel in a way I have a split personally or a double life per se. my thoughts are that my voice is discouraged because My family would always be put down like relatives or parents reminding me of my flaws and that would lower my self-esteem. I always told myself to not let them get to me, but sometimes it's too much. I'm the type of person that bottles everything up and breaks down when it's been too much. It's hard to keep you're cool sometimes I often clam myself down by insulting in silence or just letting loose the water works. I don't like to intentionally hurt people and I dislike conflict. I rarely will get in to any verbal fight because I feel if there's nothing nice to say in front of someone you should say it at all.