LuckyLulu
Sep 24, 2015
Scholarship / Mission 2025, I'm part of the crew on space - UWC Scholarship [9]
In order to apply for the UWC Scholarship, I have written an essay about the following topic:
"Describe how your day goes on April 29th 2025"
Though I put lots of effort on it, I'm confused whether my essay has met up with the necessary criteria and also, whether it is grammartically correct. So I would really be thankful if any of you can give me some reviews and advices.
Here is my essay:
"The sound the 3-dimension clock wakes me up. It says 0:01, which means a new day has dawned. Here comes the day of 29th April 2025.
The sense of time reminds me of beautiful Earth, which has been more than out of reach. Though a year from home makes me eager to come back, this is not the time to quit. For the sake of the Earth, my whole crew is determined to keep this journey going on until we finish our missions.
As we go further, the density of dust keeps increasing which pretty much resemble the chaos back at our home planet. People are now starting to abandon their home and build cities underground. Wars and nuclear power have sure paid high cost. The recall of how splendid the Earth used to be and could have been arouse the feeling of sheer bitterness. Nonetheless, there is no use crying over spilt milk. Future awaits. And we bear the heavy responsible to be one of those reassuring the hope for that forthcoming. Hopeless though it may seem, we won't back down.
The space shuttle slowly moves into an area of intense heat. This alarms me. On checking the detector, David - a crew member, discover that there is a range of asteroids orbiting huge planet that is releasing excessive heat waves, which we are quite close to. Could this be? Whatever it is, we decide not give it a miss. Hanate quickly send a report back to Earth asking for a precise location. We breathlessly approach the system.
To our amazement, we are observing a second Solar System. It's like a home from home! We all stand up watching it in awe. The hope keeps raising as we come closer to the third planet from "the Sun". The ground controllers help us set the teleport to explore "the brother of Earth". Soon after five minutes, we are on solid ground. The beautiful green grass appears join the crystal blue sky in the horizon. I take off my space helmet, happily take in a deep breath and report back to Earth: "We found it!"
Thank you in advance!
In order to apply for the UWC Scholarship, I have written an essay about the following topic:
"Describe how your day goes on April 29th 2025"
Though I put lots of effort on it, I'm confused whether my essay has met up with the necessary criteria and also, whether it is grammartically correct. So I would really be thankful if any of you can give me some reviews and advices.
Here is my essay:
"The sound the 3-dimension clock wakes me up. It says 0:01, which means a new day has dawned. Here comes the day of 29th April 2025.
The sense of time reminds me of beautiful Earth, which has been more than out of reach. Though a year from home makes me eager to come back, this is not the time to quit. For the sake of the Earth, my whole crew is determined to keep this journey going on until we finish our missions.
As we go further, the density of dust keeps increasing which pretty much resemble the chaos back at our home planet. People are now starting to abandon their home and build cities underground. Wars and nuclear power have sure paid high cost. The recall of how splendid the Earth used to be and could have been arouse the feeling of sheer bitterness. Nonetheless, there is no use crying over spilt milk. Future awaits. And we bear the heavy responsible to be one of those reassuring the hope for that forthcoming. Hopeless though it may seem, we won't back down.
The space shuttle slowly moves into an area of intense heat. This alarms me. On checking the detector, David - a crew member, discover that there is a range of asteroids orbiting huge planet that is releasing excessive heat waves, which we are quite close to. Could this be? Whatever it is, we decide not give it a miss. Hanate quickly send a report back to Earth asking for a precise location. We breathlessly approach the system.
To our amazement, we are observing a second Solar System. It's like a home from home! We all stand up watching it in awe. The hope keeps raising as we come closer to the third planet from "the Sun". The ground controllers help us set the teleport to explore "the brother of Earth". Soon after five minutes, we are on solid ground. The beautiful green grass appears join the crystal blue sky in the horizon. I take off my space helmet, happily take in a deep breath and report back to Earth: "We found it!"
Thank you in advance!