Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by kayanabdou
Name: Kayan Abdou
Joined: Sep 28, 2015
Last Post: Oct 30, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: Egypt
School: BISC

Displayed posts: 6
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
kayanabdou   
Oct 17, 2015
Undergraduate / I AM NOT AN OUTSIDER. I'm not a typical Egyptian. Common app essay [5]

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

"Happy birthday!" "Kol sana wenta tayeb!" "La mulți ani!" It took nearly 5 minutes for my parents to finish singing happy birthday to me in English, Arabic and Romanian. I took a deep breath, looked down at the flickering candles atop my cake, made a wish and blew. The heat of the candles left my face while the acrid scent of smoke entered my nostrils. My ears were absorbed by the many ambulance and police sirens constantly reverberating through the streets, yet the only object my eyes could focus on was the television. My mind was not present. I was continuously replaying the conversation I had with my father merely a week earlier, on the way back from being let out of school early, asking him if all the rumors of an upcoming revolution were true. He unpretentiously replied, "We will look back at this day and laugh!" But there we were, on the L-shaped couch in the center of my living room, witnessing the dramatic scenes of chaos in the streets of Cairo. We sat still, cake untouched with no words to describe how we felt. Egypt was the center of the world's attention.

I have lived in Egypt for the majority of my life, but I am not what one would call a typical Egyptian. I travel frequently, speak four languages, go to a international school and simply don't look like most of the people around me. I'm not saying that I'm an outsider, or that I don't fit in, in fact, over the years I managed to affiliate myself with multiple social groups in my community, Egyptian and foreigner. But that's not the point. The point is that most of the people that knew me thought that I would leave my home once the uprising began, which was the case for basically most of my friends. They assumed that a person living in a house with an Egyptian father, Romanian/American mother, Romanian grandparents and two Thai cats would be the first to leave when problems arise. That was the complete opposite of my intentions. Throughout my life in Egypt I did my best to improve the community I lived in by organizing a Charity that aids underprivileged people in need of medical treatment, cleaning the streets around my house and taking part in charity soccer games. I created an identity for myself that I couldn't just leave behind. Even during all the mayhem that was happening, my father and I spent long nights in the streets of our neighborhood protecting our houses from burglars. That was what my life consisted of, helping others. How can one just pack his bags and flee? To me that was hard to interpret.

Still, night after night, day after day, the fighting escalated leading to my school being closed for three weeks. For any teen, an extra three-week holiday would be something out of a dream, but for me it just created room for worries. I dreaded the day where I had to leave, the day that was slowly creeping up on my family. As a 13-year-old boy my biggest concern was choosing what to take with me if we were forced out of the country. Every morning I would stare at the 7ft tall bookshelf alongside my bed, filled with all my life's memories from signed soccer balls to family pictures, clearly remembering every memory. It was then that I realized that this curious piece of furniture was a reflection of my life and the only object that could define me. Every shelf acted as a new era of my past, a new piece to my life puzzle and a new memory. I would've never been able to choose one thing to keep, not until I have completed my journey, and my story. Luckily I didn't have to, that one wish in front of the T.V on the 28th of January added a new memory to my bookshelf.
kayanabdou   
Oct 18, 2015
Undergraduate / I AM NOT AN OUTSIDER. I'm not a typical Egyptian. Common app essay [5]

@vangiespen
Here is the prompt that I am writing to: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Thank you for your advice. When writing the essay I really wanted to show that I'm culturally diverse and differ from my community, don't you think that by me writing about why I'm Egyptian kinda cancels out the whole diverse and unique idea? I basically want to show the admissions officers that I can bring variety to their campuses mostly due to my identity of being distinct.

Either way I will make alterations to the essay according to your helpful advice and see how it gets on :)
Many Thanks
kayanabdou   
Oct 27, 2015
Undergraduate / CHESS; MY LOVE, MY LIFE [2]

I think your essay is excellent mainly due to the multiple metaphors between life and the chess pieces. Can you please provide us with the prompt you are writing to for further analysis?
kayanabdou   
Oct 27, 2015
Undergraduate / Invent a Past for a Present - UChicago Supplement [7]

I really like your concept and intro, but I truly believe that the essay can be a bit more cohesive to make it easier for us to interpret the situation the same way you are trying to present it
kayanabdou   
Oct 27, 2015
Undergraduate / Her face looks funny... Common App essay prompt 1 [5]

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story:

It was an Egyptian winter day around the middle of January; people in the streets were buried in many layers of heavy clothing to protect their bodies from the "bone-chilling" 12 degrees Celsius (this is considered extreme cold when you live in Egypt). Returning from soccer practice, I followed the inviting smell of Romanian food into the kitchen to find my grandmother standing by the stove in her beige knitted pullover and checkered skirt. Snowy, our white Persian cat sauntered between her frail legs as if he was guarding her. As I approached the source of the mouth-watering smell, I recognized that she was cooking stuffed cabbage rolls, which happened to be my favorite homemade dish. With a gleaming smile on my 10-year-old face, I gave her a hug and kiss while she asked how training went. When she spoke I sensed a slur in her speech that wasn't present beforehand and as I moved away to have a clear look at her, I became aware that the left side of her face was slightly drooping. Confusion and shock engulfed my mind but I was careful not to show any of my feelings to avoid worrying her. Being a young child I didn't really understand the cause of this deformation, or why my grandmother didn't speak normally, but I knew something was wrong. The image of my grandmother's face did not leave my mind, and I was more than curious to find out why this was happening to her. My first instinct was to look for my pocket sized "First Human Body Encyclopedia," amongst the piles of comic books and soccer magazines. To me, those 200 pages were the solution to all my problems, all my questions, and the cure for my mind-controlling urge for science. I spent, what seemed to be, hours looking through each section, but didn't manage to find anything useful. It was way past my 9 o clock bedtime, but as my dad came to tuck me into my Spiderman sheets, I hid the book underneath the pillow and impatiently waited for him to leave. Once again, I pulled out the encyclopedia and started looking for useful information. Still...nothing. (To this day, I am still surprised about how I managed to clear out all the "normal 10 year old" thoughts, and focus on how to help my Grandmother). As I hopelessly stared at the many posters on my wall, I realized that the only way I could solve this issue is by asking other people. I bounced out of bed imitating Spiderman and ran straight to my parent's room. The urgency of the situation was invisible to me up until the point where my parents jumped out of their seats, much like Spiderman as well, and hurried to my grandmother. I can clearly remember seeing the, calm but slightly distorted, look on her face as we walked in. She was at the primary stages of having an ischemic stroke. That day taught me a myriad of life lessons that I still utilize in my everyday life. Yes, I was a young child. Yes, I had an endless passion for knowledge. But I learned that the importance of communication in our lives is more than the fundamental tool for developing mankind. Without it, humans will be drowned in the abyss of ignorance.

That day marked a milestone in my life, as I took my fascination with science and allowed it to blossom into a future pathway entering the complex world of medicine.

My passion for medicine and science will grow with me through every stage of my life, along with the need to glean knowledge from every moment, every event and every person I meet. To be fair, I am half pharaoh, from my Egyptian side, and half vampire, from my Romanian side, giving me the gift of healing and the persistence to succeed.
kayanabdou   
Oct 30, 2015
Undergraduate / Her face looks funny... Common App essay prompt 1 [5]

Thanks for all your corrections. Below is the revised version of the essay. Can you please tell me if you think this essay is powerful and if it catches your attention right away. Also i would like to know if it fully answers the prompt. Thanks again :)

It was an Egyptian winter day around the middle of January; people in the streets were buried in many layers of heavy clothing to protect their bodies from the "bone-chilling" 12 degrees Celsius, which is considered extreme cold when you live in Egypt. Returning home from soccer practice, I followed the inviting smell of Romanian food into the kitchen. I found my grandmother standing by the stove in a beige knitted pullover and checkered skirt. Snowy, our white Persian cat sauntered between her frail legs as if he was guarding her.

"How was practice?" She asked.

When she spoke I sensed a slur in her speech that wasn't present beforehand and as I moved away to have a clear look at her, I became aware that the left side of her face was slightly drooping.

Confusion and shock engulfed my mind but I was careful not to show any of my feelings to avoid worrying her.
With a forced smile on my 10-year-old face, I replied,
"I scored 2 goals today!"

Being a young child I didn't really understand the cause of this abnormality, but I knew something was wrong. The image of my grandmother's face did not leave my thoughts, and I was more than curious to find out why this was happening to her. The words of my mother telling me to take care of my grandmother resonated through my mind. I felt the responsibility push down on my shoulders. But my first instinct was to look for my "First Human Body Encyclopedia," amongst the piles of comic books and soccer magazines. To me, those 200 pages were my safe haven, the solution to my questions and the cure to my mind-controlling urge for science.

I spent what seemed to be hours looking through each section with no result. It was already past my bedtime and my parents weren't home to tell me otherwise. Sleep was not an option for me; my mind was occupied with a mission to fix my grandmothers face, but nothing seemed to come my way. I felt hopeless and all I wanted was to be the superhero that saved the day. As I desperately stared at the many posters on my wall, I realized that the only way I could solve this issue is by asking other people, the sound of my parents entering my home was like music to my ears. I bounced out of bed imitating Spiderman and ran straight to the front door. The urgency of the situation was unveiled as I witnessed my mother rush to my grandmother's room. I can clearly remember seeing the, calm but slightly distorted, look on her face as we walked in. She was in the primary stages of an ischemic stroke.

After all the only power I needed was the power of communication. I was a young child with an endless passion for knowledge, and determination to help those close to my heart. But I learned that the importance of communication in our lives is more than just the fundamental tool for developing mankind. It can save lives, generate thought and eliminate boundaries. Without it, humans will drown in the abyss of ignorance.

That day also marked a milestone in my life, as I took my fascination with science and allowed it to blossom into a future pathway entering the complex world of medicine. My curiosity for science along with my interest in helping others gives me the opportunity to thrive in a field where these factors support its existence.

My passion for medicine and science will grow with me through every stage of my life, along with the need to glean knowledge from every moment, every event and every person I meet. To be fair, I am half pharaoh, from my Egyptian side, and half vampire, from my Romanian side, giving me the gift of healing and the persistence to succeed.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳