imvml
Nov 10, 2015
Undergraduate / I read the question and my face tightened when I saw the one word that stood out to me: FAMILY. [3]
Please help me correct/review my essay! Thank you for your help!
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I am sitting upstairs at my parents' party supply store in the heart of the Fashion District of Downtown, Los Angeles. Today is a Sunday-my parents anticipate it to be a busy day because most people do not have to work today. I call for my mom and dad to come up to tell me about their childhood in Vietnam, for inspiration, but they say they are too busy. The second floor is made entirely of a metal platform with holes where you can see the ground below, making it uncomfortable for an acrophobic person like me. Glued to the floor, I looked at the only things that I brought with me: a pen and a piece of paper with the first prompt written on it. I read the question and my face tightened when I saw the one word that stood out to me: family.
I stare into the open space and talked aloud to myself about everything that I felt about that word. Tears poured down my face as I said the first thing that came out of my mouth, "I am...so grateful."
I really am grateful to have been raised in such a loving and caring home. My family has always been there for me every step of the way and helped me with anything I needed. They taught me the important values that shaped me into the person I am today. Growing up, I was taught to be selfless and to always put other before myself. I was told to help with anything I could and to never take money or rewards for my work because helping others comes from the goodness of the heart, and not from incentives. I found myself actively volunteering, not for the sole purpose of earning hours, but because I genuinely enjoyed helping and making the lives of other happier and easier.
My dad comes to check up on me every few minutes or so to ask me how I am doing because he knows that I am afraid of heights and that being on the second floor was a nightmare for me. I peered through the holes on the ground and see my mom boiling hot water. She checks up on me too, asking if I want any tea to drink or fruits to eat because she knows that I like to have snacks when I work. That's the kind of people my parents are. No matter how busy they are, they always put in time for me. No matter how stressed, sad, or gloomy I am, they always manage to make me happy-and that is the person I want to be for others.
I know for certain that I want to have a career in bettering the lives of others. Never in my life have I considered being anything else, but a doctor. I want to become someone who people can come to when they need help. I want to have the honor of having people entrusting me with their saddest and happiest moments. As a doctor, I can heal people. I can make them feel better-I can make them feel happier. No matter how difficult it is to become a doctor, I believe that if you have a dream and a passion for something, the outcome is worth all the blood and sweat you put into it.
Please help me correct/review my essay! Thank you for your help!
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I am sitting upstairs at my parents' party supply store in the heart of the Fashion District of Downtown, Los Angeles. Today is a Sunday-my parents anticipate it to be a busy day because most people do not have to work today. I call for my mom and dad to come up to tell me about their childhood in Vietnam, for inspiration, but they say they are too busy. The second floor is made entirely of a metal platform with holes where you can see the ground below, making it uncomfortable for an acrophobic person like me. Glued to the floor, I looked at the only things that I brought with me: a pen and a piece of paper with the first prompt written on it. I read the question and my face tightened when I saw the one word that stood out to me: family.
I stare into the open space and talked aloud to myself about everything that I felt about that word. Tears poured down my face as I said the first thing that came out of my mouth, "I am...so grateful."
I really am grateful to have been raised in such a loving and caring home. My family has always been there for me every step of the way and helped me with anything I needed. They taught me the important values that shaped me into the person I am today. Growing up, I was taught to be selfless and to always put other before myself. I was told to help with anything I could and to never take money or rewards for my work because helping others comes from the goodness of the heart, and not from incentives. I found myself actively volunteering, not for the sole purpose of earning hours, but because I genuinely enjoyed helping and making the lives of other happier and easier.
My dad comes to check up on me every few minutes or so to ask me how I am doing because he knows that I am afraid of heights and that being on the second floor was a nightmare for me. I peered through the holes on the ground and see my mom boiling hot water. She checks up on me too, asking if I want any tea to drink or fruits to eat because she knows that I like to have snacks when I work. That's the kind of people my parents are. No matter how busy they are, they always put in time for me. No matter how stressed, sad, or gloomy I am, they always manage to make me happy-and that is the person I want to be for others.
I know for certain that I want to have a career in bettering the lives of others. Never in my life have I considered being anything else, but a doctor. I want to become someone who people can come to when they need help. I want to have the honor of having people entrusting me with their saddest and happiest moments. As a doctor, I can heal people. I can make them feel better-I can make them feel happier. No matter how difficult it is to become a doctor, I believe that if you have a dream and a passion for something, the outcome is worth all the blood and sweat you put into it.