Sh1987
Dec 9, 2015
Graduate / *The Monday That Changed My Life* Personal statement for MPH program [15]
This is my personal statement for masters in public health at Johns Hopkins. I had scored very low gre so my hope is work experience and this essay. I am not good at writing. I think the problems are: flow of the passages and story doesn't follow along, I am not sure whether I wrote enough about me or if I need to write more about my experience, poor and lengthy sentence structures that are becoming page fillers. I am also worried that I have answered important questions such as why i am interested in public health, why this school/program, why should they accept me and what are my goals and plans for future. Also the length of the essay needs to be2 pages and currently it's too long,4 pages almost. I don't know where to start shortening. I need to work on title as well.
I would appreciate any help or feedback. Thank you in advance.
The Monday That Changed My Life
When I sat down with Lal in my cubicle chair in the darker corner of the office, little did I know that it was going to be one of my very first emotionally intense and empowering conversations of my career. Lal was my first refugee client at the International Rescue Committee (IRC), a humanitarian aid organization that resettles refugees, where I had started my internship in Public Health. My role as a Public Health Intern was to support and assist refugees to navigate the intricacies of healthcare and other social services system as they walked their road to self-sufficiency and assimilation into new culture. It was Monday, and the Health Team had walk-in hours for individuals who needed assistance. I gave Lal my biggest smile and greeting in Nepali: "namaste", along with my introduction.
As nervous as I was, I noticed that Lal was even more agitated. As a courtesy and with a hope to warm up the vibe, I offered Lal some tea, which he shyly accepted. As we both started sipping the fragrant hot lemon tea, Lal seemed more comfortable and smiled for the first time since he had met me that morning. I asked Lal, "How are you this morning?" Lal frantically replied, "exhausted." Lal accidentally fell asleep and missed his bus stop As an immigrant myself, I understood how scary it felt to get lost in an unfamiliar land with language barriers.
Lal escaped his birth country at age of twelve, in the middle of the night with his mom, when his father was dragged away. In the pitch black, with a tiny ray of hope, and only the memories of home, Lal left that day. After living in the refugee camps for 20 years, Lal was in the US, place he could finally call home.
I grew up in a small landlocked country called Nepal; a land known for bravery and hospitality of Gorkhalis and the tenacious Mount Everest. What most people aren't aware of is that many in my country struggle with poverty and suffer from the rampant corruption. So 12 years ago, my parents sacrificed what they had established in Nepal and crossed oceans to come to USA so that my brother and I did not have to face the same hurdles and could live the American Dream.
As Lal began telling me his story our conversation lapsed into Nepali, a shared language. I could feel him become more comfortable, both from the familiarity of the language and for just that little shared background between us. It reminded me of my own struggles as a young woman in America. Something as simple as not being able to differentiate between the names Michele and Michael lead to me being let go from my first job. Though I grew up learning English, I needed to improve my speaking skills especially pertaining to cultural differences. With practice, not only my speaking English improved but I was able to volunteer as an interpreter in health care settings. My personal experience also seeded my passion and urge to work in vulnerable communities to address barriers causing health disparities and thus improve health equality.
"I am ready for new journey," said Lal as I was shuffling through papers to explain Medicaid to him. I was amazed by his resilience and determination. I sat still with tears in my eyes feeling immense gratitude for this encounter. Meeting Lal, experiencing his indomitable perseverance, and discovering how organizations like IRC could help immigrants like him all proved to be a turning point in my career and life.
I had found my dream! It was during my internship when I realized that Public Health was not just my interest but my calling. I want to advocate for vulnerable population such as refugees, displaced individuals, victims of human trafficking, and more so that individuals such as Lal do not get lost in the chaos of conflict, or the systemic barriers.
It's fair to say that this internship not only helped me grow as a person but also as an academic student. I had struggled with low scores in my first two and half years of college. Working with Lal and others like him brought a renewed sense of dedication to my final two years of college. Upon graduation I was honored to receive an Undergraduate Community Health Service Award for my contributions toward building a healthier community.
I am applying to Johns Hopkins University not only for the golden reputation it holds in the world, or the vivacious city where it lies, but also, the nurturing environment that is rich in diversity with students and professors who are from all around the world with expertise in their areas of interest. I was fortunate to share in this expertise and diversity during a class I took called Quality Assurance Management Methods in Developing Countries in 2012. Not only did we have professors who were experts in the academic world but a majority of my classmates had vast experience in public health and medicine. It was quite inspirational.
As part of this course, I completed a very fulfilling a project in Improving Language Access in Emergency Rooms in the US, which focused on reducing barriers for people like Lal with low english proficiency to be able to access health care and advocate for themselves. This project equipped with skills to identify problems and offer solutions which not only helped me improve my performance at work but also helped me think strategically to the issues in my personal life.
I yearn for that learning experience again. I see the JHU MPH as a valuable next step in personal and professional growth. I also recognize that MPH at JHU is going to take indefatigable efforts and dedication, which I promise to deliver. I want to improve my critical thinking skills and academic knowledge so I can pursue my goal of continuing to support vulnerable communities and ultimately to become a Public Health Advocate.
This is my personal statement for masters in public health at Johns Hopkins. I had scored very low gre so my hope is work experience and this essay. I am not good at writing. I think the problems are: flow of the passages and story doesn't follow along, I am not sure whether I wrote enough about me or if I need to write more about my experience, poor and lengthy sentence structures that are becoming page fillers. I am also worried that I have answered important questions such as why i am interested in public health, why this school/program, why should they accept me and what are my goals and plans for future. Also the length of the essay needs to be2 pages and currently it's too long,4 pages almost. I don't know where to start shortening. I need to work on title as well.
I would appreciate any help or feedback. Thank you in advance.
The Monday That Changed My Life
When I sat down with Lal in my cubicle chair in the darker corner of the office, little did I know that it was going to be one of my very first emotionally intense and empowering conversations of my career. Lal was my first refugee client at the International Rescue Committee (IRC), a humanitarian aid organization that resettles refugees, where I had started my internship in Public Health. My role as a Public Health Intern was to support and assist refugees to navigate the intricacies of healthcare and other social services system as they walked their road to self-sufficiency and assimilation into new culture. It was Monday, and the Health Team had walk-in hours for individuals who needed assistance. I gave Lal my biggest smile and greeting in Nepali: "namaste", along with my introduction.
As nervous as I was, I noticed that Lal was even more agitated. As a courtesy and with a hope to warm up the vibe, I offered Lal some tea, which he shyly accepted. As we both started sipping the fragrant hot lemon tea, Lal seemed more comfortable and smiled for the first time since he had met me that morning. I asked Lal, "How are you this morning?" Lal frantically replied, "exhausted." Lal accidentally fell asleep and missed his bus stop As an immigrant myself, I understood how scary it felt to get lost in an unfamiliar land with language barriers.
Lal escaped his birth country at age of twelve, in the middle of the night with his mom, when his father was dragged away. In the pitch black, with a tiny ray of hope, and only the memories of home, Lal left that day. After living in the refugee camps for 20 years, Lal was in the US, place he could finally call home.
I grew up in a small landlocked country called Nepal; a land known for bravery and hospitality of Gorkhalis and the tenacious Mount Everest. What most people aren't aware of is that many in my country struggle with poverty and suffer from the rampant corruption. So 12 years ago, my parents sacrificed what they had established in Nepal and crossed oceans to come to USA so that my brother and I did not have to face the same hurdles and could live the American Dream.
As Lal began telling me his story our conversation lapsed into Nepali, a shared language. I could feel him become more comfortable, both from the familiarity of the language and for just that little shared background between us. It reminded me of my own struggles as a young woman in America. Something as simple as not being able to differentiate between the names Michele and Michael lead to me being let go from my first job. Though I grew up learning English, I needed to improve my speaking skills especially pertaining to cultural differences. With practice, not only my speaking English improved but I was able to volunteer as an interpreter in health care settings. My personal experience also seeded my passion and urge to work in vulnerable communities to address barriers causing health disparities and thus improve health equality.
"I am ready for new journey," said Lal as I was shuffling through papers to explain Medicaid to him. I was amazed by his resilience and determination. I sat still with tears in my eyes feeling immense gratitude for this encounter. Meeting Lal, experiencing his indomitable perseverance, and discovering how organizations like IRC could help immigrants like him all proved to be a turning point in my career and life.
I had found my dream! It was during my internship when I realized that Public Health was not just my interest but my calling. I want to advocate for vulnerable population such as refugees, displaced individuals, victims of human trafficking, and more so that individuals such as Lal do not get lost in the chaos of conflict, or the systemic barriers.
It's fair to say that this internship not only helped me grow as a person but also as an academic student. I had struggled with low scores in my first two and half years of college. Working with Lal and others like him brought a renewed sense of dedication to my final two years of college. Upon graduation I was honored to receive an Undergraduate Community Health Service Award for my contributions toward building a healthier community.
I am applying to Johns Hopkins University not only for the golden reputation it holds in the world, or the vivacious city where it lies, but also, the nurturing environment that is rich in diversity with students and professors who are from all around the world with expertise in their areas of interest. I was fortunate to share in this expertise and diversity during a class I took called Quality Assurance Management Methods in Developing Countries in 2012. Not only did we have professors who were experts in the academic world but a majority of my classmates had vast experience in public health and medicine. It was quite inspirational.
As part of this course, I completed a very fulfilling a project in Improving Language Access in Emergency Rooms in the US, which focused on reducing barriers for people like Lal with low english proficiency to be able to access health care and advocate for themselves. This project equipped with skills to identify problems and offer solutions which not only helped me improve my performance at work but also helped me think strategically to the issues in my personal life.
I yearn for that learning experience again. I see the JHU MPH as a valuable next step in personal and professional growth. I also recognize that MPH at JHU is going to take indefatigable efforts and dedication, which I promise to deliver. I want to improve my critical thinking skills and academic knowledge so I can pursue my goal of continuing to support vulnerable communities and ultimately to become a Public Health Advocate.