Nada9210
Dec 12, 2015
Writing Feedback / Health is indeed wealth! IGCSE ESL - How to Improve for the Exam [7]
Please help me improve my writing skills through this essay. I need to know if my writing is good enough in terms of content, style and language. I would really appreciate it if you could grade it out of 18; 9 marks for content and 9 marks for style and accuracy of language.
I would also like to know where should I include my opinion, first or last paragraph? And is it necessary that the writing should be in block form, or is indented fine? Is it important to write the article in 150-200 words long?
Thank you so much.
Health is indeed wealth!
Many people all over the world know and spell the popular saying "Health is wealth", especially mothers, who are adamant on ensuring that their children's health is treasured. However, do the children, and many teenagers as a matter of fact, understand the pristine and intrinsic significance of health today? I believe that health is the most important.
Young people should take certain measure to lead a healthy life. Firstly, they should be well-aware of the extreme vitality of their health and how precious it is for the sake of their lives. For instance, teenagers should sleep well so that the brain gets enough energy to do its work. In addition, a balanced diet and lots of water are compulsory and integral constituents of the development of their healthy life and they must take care of what they consume. Eating lots of fruits and vegetables instead of junk food is highly recommended, so they should not avoid them just because they hate them!
Moreover, cleanliness is mandatory for health maintenance, as well as physical exercise, in order to avoid diseases and decrease the chance of experiencing obesity.
Teenagers who take care of their health will certainly lead a happy life, rather than spending it in the hospital because of allowing it to deteriorate. Therefore, despite the pressure, it is definitely worth it.
Please help me improve my writing skills through this essay. I need to know if my writing is good enough in terms of content, style and language. I would really appreciate it if you could grade it out of 18; 9 marks for content and 9 marks for style and accuracy of language.
I would also like to know where should I include my opinion, first or last paragraph? And is it necessary that the writing should be in block form, or is indented fine? Is it important to write the article in 150-200 words long?
Thank you so much.
Health is indeed wealth!
Many people all over the world know and spell the popular saying "Health is wealth", especially mothers, who are adamant on ensuring that their children's health is treasured. However, do the children, and many teenagers as a matter of fact, understand the pristine and intrinsic significance of health today? I believe that health is the most important.
Young people should take certain measure to lead a healthy life. Firstly, they should be well-aware of the extreme vitality of their health and how precious it is for the sake of their lives. For instance, teenagers should sleep well so that the brain gets enough energy to do its work. In addition, a balanced diet and lots of water are compulsory and integral constituents of the development of their healthy life and they must take care of what they consume. Eating lots of fruits and vegetables instead of junk food is highly recommended, so they should not avoid them just because they hate them!
Moreover, cleanliness is mandatory for health maintenance, as well as physical exercise, in order to avoid diseases and decrease the chance of experiencing obesity.
Teenagers who take care of their health will certainly lead a happy life, rather than spending it in the hospital because of allowing it to deteriorate. Therefore, despite the pressure, it is definitely worth it.