Undergraduate / 'International' and 'Anime' - variety of clubs at Bates. Writing a supplement essay. [3]

Hi!

I can't help but feel like your supplement essay did not showcase you as a potential member of the Bates community but instead it seemed like you were advertising it. I think the problem with this is that the people in Bates most probably already know all about your essay. In other words, your essay is quite generic. Maybe you can improve your essay by adding how the environment can help you as a person or why you love Bates.