Writing Feedback / Illustration of the statistical information about the poor people in Australia in 1999 - IELTS Task1 [2]

Hello, everyone!
I am new to IELTS, and it's my first try on the writing IELTS Task 1.
I really appreciate for your help to improve my writing. Thanks a lot!!

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given table illustrated the statistical information of the poor in Australia in 1999. Distinguishing all the families into six types, the table provided the proportions and the amounts of the people living in poverty with respect to different types.

Firstly, the data of the amounts indicated the main and the tangential contributors. While there were 933,000 couples with children living in poverty, it was more than the double amount of the "single, no children" family, the second largest contributor. Furthermore, as the amount of the least significant contributor, aged couples, was 48,000, it was about one-twentieth of the largest one.

Secondly, the table afforded the proportions of each family type and of all households. As the proportion of the "sole parent" family living in poverty was 21 percent, higher than 11 percent, the rate of all the households, it was the highest rate among all the family types. What's more, as the proportion of aged couples in poverty was 4 percent, the minimum among all the categories, it was about one-fifth of the rate of the "sole parent" family.

Finally, relationships between the amounts and the rates alluded the relationships of the amounts between certain family types. The amount of the poor "single, no children" family was more than the amount of the poor "sole parent" family; however, the relationship of the rates of the above families was in reverse. Thus, there were more "sole parent" families than "single, no children" families at that time. Similarly, there were more "couple with children" families than the "single, no children" families.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task1: Eating sweet foods produces acid in the mouth, which can cause tooth decay [3]

Describe the information below and discuss the implications for dental health.

The given line chart affords the alteration of the acid level in mouth after the consumption of sugar and honey. To clearly illustrate the condition which teeth were at risk, the graph labels PH levels above 5.5 as the safe region and levels below 5.5 as the dangerous region. As is observed from the chart, a dramatic change in the acid level occurs after the consumption of sweet foods and the teeth remain in danger until the level grows above 5.5 gradually.

Initially, the PH levels are 7 in the beginning. However, significant drops occur after having sugar or honey and it takes different times for each circumstance to leave the dangerous region. For example, after consuming cane sugar, the PH level falls to 3.5 in 5 minutes and the teeth remain at risk for about 25 minutes. Meanwhile, as having fruit sugar, the acid level drops below 4.5 in 5 minutes and the deleterious condition lasting for about 15 minutes. Further, the PH level is lower than 5 in 5 minutes when consuming honey and the teeth keep at risk for about 8 minutes.

Conclusively, eating cane sugar leads to the highest falling speed, the lowest PH level, and spends the longest time to recovering from the dangerous region. Therefore, cane sugar is a comparatively dangerous sweet item, while fruit sugar and honey are relatively safe items.

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