agm
Aug 11, 2009
Undergraduate / "My most profound interests; the universe" - UIUC Essay (#1 of 2) [16]
I'm currently working on my application to the University of Illinois and am having a bit of trouble with the first (there are two) essays.
Topic:
In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or your professional goals.
Essay:
Most of my life has revolved around one of my most profound interests; the universe. When I think back to my childhood, I remember gazing at the stars and asking my father unanswerable questions about the cosmos. I remember my first trip to the Kennedy Space Center, where I set foot on the same island that man departed from for the moon. I remember the few times that I was far enough away from the pollution of city lights to see another arm of our galaxy and question my place in the universe.
These cute little anecdotes may seem trivial as similar feelings have been experienced by most people. I think my fascination with the universe is a bit deeper than your average star gazer's. I want to learn about the fundamentals of the universe so I can answer my own and others' seemingly unanswerable questions. I want to learn about new theories that at first glance may seem like a sub-plot of a science-fiction show. I want to write books that will inspire and intrigue the next generation of "space lovers" behind me.
I've decided that I'd like to major in physics and then move on to a graduate degree in astrophysics or astronomy. After school I hope to pursue a position in academia or maybe at a public or private laboratory. I also love to dabble in computer programming languages, so I might chase that interest at some point. Several of my family members have gone to or are now going to the University of Illinois. From what they tell me it's a great place to learn and grow both socially and academically, which is why I hope to one day be sitting in a University of Illinois auditorium pursuing my dreams.
(295 words)
This is my third try and it just feels very weak to me. I'm used to being able to write quality essays with ease but this one is hard for some reason. Any tips?
I'm also having trouble with my essay for the University of Florida. This is the topic:
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
Every one of my attempts so far comes across as a rambling mess and I am looking to take a different route. Do you think the route I took for my UIUC essay can be modified to suffice as the UF essay? Although I'm disappointed with its current state I like the overall feel of my UIUC essay and would like to try something similar for UF but I wonder if it's too much of a stretch for the prompt. Any help is appreciated!
Thank you!
I'm currently working on my application to the University of Illinois and am having a bit of trouble with the first (there are two) essays.
Topic:
In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or your professional goals.
Essay:
Most of my life has revolved around one of my most profound interests; the universe. When I think back to my childhood, I remember gazing at the stars and asking my father unanswerable questions about the cosmos. I remember my first trip to the Kennedy Space Center, where I set foot on the same island that man departed from for the moon. I remember the few times that I was far enough away from the pollution of city lights to see another arm of our galaxy and question my place in the universe.
These cute little anecdotes may seem trivial as similar feelings have been experienced by most people. I think my fascination with the universe is a bit deeper than your average star gazer's. I want to learn about the fundamentals of the universe so I can answer my own and others' seemingly unanswerable questions. I want to learn about new theories that at first glance may seem like a sub-plot of a science-fiction show. I want to write books that will inspire and intrigue the next generation of "space lovers" behind me.
I've decided that I'd like to major in physics and then move on to a graduate degree in astrophysics or astronomy. After school I hope to pursue a position in academia or maybe at a public or private laboratory. I also love to dabble in computer programming languages, so I might chase that interest at some point. Several of my family members have gone to or are now going to the University of Illinois. From what they tell me it's a great place to learn and grow both socially and academically, which is why I hope to one day be sitting in a University of Illinois auditorium pursuing my dreams.
(295 words)
This is my third try and it just feels very weak to me. I'm used to being able to write quality essays with ease but this one is hard for some reason. Any tips?
I'm also having trouble with my essay for the University of Florida. This is the topic:
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
Every one of my attempts so far comes across as a rambling mess and I am looking to take a different route. Do you think the route I took for my UIUC essay can be modified to suffice as the UF essay? Although I'm disappointed with its current state I like the overall feel of my UIUC essay and would like to try something similar for UF but I wonder if it's too much of a stretch for the prompt. Any help is appreciated!
Thank you!