Writing Feedback / Childhood is not going to be repeated. Should children play for fun or compertition? [4]

You can also include that most children have no clear concept of competing, may it be for the reward or recognition of others. They may be unable to cope with the feeling of defeat, somehow recognition of some kindergarten students are disregarded because children at that age may compare themselves with others as a less of person in case they are not at par with other students.

Writing Feedback / After leaving a school youngsters prefer to stay with their friends instead of living with parents [2]

... some countries especially in india this practice of leaving ...

... dicisions at this age because they are young blood ; sometimes they take wrong dicisions ; they need a proper ...
Eventually living alone and struggeling with their failures; (...) abuse and can destroy their future. For example, in my lacality there are some adults who are living aloneno supporting sentence to prove if living alone can cause someone to be a victim of drug addiction; are misguided and (...); their carees is totally destroyed.

... under proper supervision untill they reach at the ...

-lacks supporting sentence to every argument being presented.

-cyclical main idea from start to finish

-dig more substance to present an convincing argument