Writing Feedback / Offering Incentives - IELTS Essay [14]

Hey guys,

I wrote another one!

Sorry, I never paid attention in my English class or appreciate the comments my teacher gave me. So now I'm desperate for your help! (AKA Sean and Simone, LOL)

The question is:
Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others.

To what extent is this style of management effective?
Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?

My essay is:

In a world where competition is as great as ever, companies are constantly thinking of new ways to motivate their employees, but at the same time keeping their cost down. Many companies started to offer their employees cash bonuses, as an incentive for their contribution to the company. People have argued that by doing so, it seems to create a negative impact on other employees. But in the case of offering cash bonuses to employees, the pros seem to outweigh the cons.

It has been proven in many different situations that with incentives often come along motivation and commitment. If one broadens the scope of this case from companies to governments, one can see that democracy plays the role of companies that offers extra rewards while communism is against it, believing that everybody should be paid equally. The result of the communist government is evidently an unsuccessful concept as people do not have the motivation to work. In the other hand, countries that adopted democracy became quite successful.

Even though offering incentives seems to be an effective way to operate a business, it is not the only way to motivate the employees. There are also other ways to encourage employees to work harder; providing a better working environment, allowing the employees to make decisions on their own, and many others. As more and more companies are gradually realizing the importance of human resource management, far more ways of encouraging employees will be introduced.

As one can see that there are a lot of ways other than incentives that companies can offer their employees. But one have to ask oneself, which way is the most effective and cost-friendly? In this case, offering incentives seems to be the most effective way. Although the effectiveness of this method may vary from companies to companies, but a great percentage of companies should find it helpful. It is extremely important to find the right concept to operate one's company at the most efficient level and people should make this decision wisely.

Writing Feedback / Criminal records, British and Australia laws - IELTS Essay [9]

Dear all,

Can someone please help me with my essay below? Any advise or suggests will really help! Thanks in advance!

Question: Under British and Australia laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime.

Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case.

Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

My answer (298 words, minimum requirement 250)

Many countries have offered their juries full knowledge of the defendant's past criminal records before a trial starts. But under British and Australia law, it is forbidden to give a jury the defendant's past criminal records. Some lawyers have argued that this information should be provided to the juries before a verdict has been reached. There are several factors to be considered in order to determine if such restriction implemented by the British and Australian government is appropriate.

One consequence of offering juries the information to the defendant's criminal background is overloading the juries with information. Very often, juries are not trained professionals who determine where the rest of the defendant's life should be spent. They are not equipped with the knowledge to sort out a huge amount of information thrown upon them. This is why it is extremely important to only inform the juries on what is important.

Another reason to prohibit such action is to prevent the defendant from being judged two times for a same crime. If the law states that a person cannot be judged two times for the same crime, then why offered the irrelevant information to the juries? If the defendant is found innocent, then he is by law, not guilty. If the defendant is found guilty, then the court will deliver his punishments, and therefore, he has paid his dues.

We should only provide the information necessary for the juries to make the correct decision. Very often lawyers will like to play the mind game and if we allow the juries to have knowledge of the defendant's past criminal records, it will only allow the mind games to be played at a catastrophic level. The law should aide the juries to make the correct decision, not create more burdens for them.