Posts by Victoria1

Victoria1

Dec 13, 2016

Undergraduate / Essay for Undergraduate Admission Application: "A Break Up to Remember" [6]

Your Topic is "a break up to remember" and then it looks like the whole story related to the topic was only in your first paragraph.

You should try to tell what the breakup as changed about ur life. What is has made you to understand about life.

I hope this will help

Victoria1

Dec 5, 2016

Scholarship / Characterize a personality which has added enthusiasm within your own life [4]

Thanks @chizy7 and @ Holt

Victoria1

Dec 4, 2016

Scholarship / Characterize a personality which has added enthusiasm within your own life [4]

Right from when I was a child, I have always wanted to be like my mother. She's such a courageous and caring woman. She's a counselor and a career woman. My mother is an accountant and she's brainy, she always tries her best for me to achieve whatever I need to achieve in life. She runs around to assist my father to make ends meet and makes sure I'm perfectly okay.

please, Is this the right way to start my essay?

Victoria1

Nov 27, 2016

Writing Feedback / To be an athlete is the dream for many - the famous sporty stars usually have an impressive income [3]

Here are some corrections from what I read.
1. I think the best way to start that is "Being an athlete is every child's dream".
2.In the second paragraph, u should write "there's a great gap between the income of sport professionals and other professions which favours the later, this discourages youths from wanting to become sport professionals".