Posts by arg

arg

Dec 31, 2016

Undergraduate / Contrary to most millennials, I was terrible with technology. [5]

@Holt
I understand what you are saying but I describe that going into the program I had no successful experiences with computers, but I stepped outside of my comfort zone and decided to pursue something I was typically bad at and eventually I was able to excel in the program, despite my initial hesitancy and failures. I state how eventually I was able to not only learn about computers but I was able to "master" them in some areas and then pass that knowledge on to others. And then I talked about how I gained responsibility at the company.

Can you please tell me what made this unclear.
Also, it says or work experience in the prompt and I worked at this organization for 2 summers

arg

Dec 31, 2016

Undergraduate / An incident that happened two months back. LESSONS FROM FAILURE (COMM APP) [7]

From 1 year I was working on [...] was useless to me so I kept it aside.
The connection of this sentence to the main point of your essay is not very clear. I felt that that going from this to the next paragraph was too much of a jump and didn't flow coherently.

There are also a lot of grammar mistakes throughout the essay, I would go back and reread a few times.

I would also focus a bit less on what your father said and how he made you feel, that may help you get the word count down as well.

Good luck!

arg

Dec 31, 2016

Undergraduate / Contrary to most millennials, I was terrible with technology. [5]

@barry
thank you for help
This may be a stupid question, but could you tell me what you meant by differing tones?
I meant to show how my attitude toward the program changed over time and I see how my tone may differ because of that, but what do you mean by it differing in sentences/ why is that a bad thing?

arg

Dec 31, 2016

Undergraduate / Contrary to most millennials, I was terrible with technology. [5]

briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences- CFC

Contrary to most millennials, I was terrible with technology. So when I was assigned to work at the nonprofit organization Computers for Children for the majority of my summer, I was worried about how I would fit in at the company as an intern. I grudgingly followed through with my assignment and after a few weeks, I was pleasantly surprised. I found that I was not only able to master constructing a computer from spare parts and learn how to use programs such as photoshop, but I also had the ability to pass on my new found knowledge to children who usually had little contact with a real computer and software. During my second year at the company I was granted more responsibility as I made calls for donations, helped design and distribute flyers for their events, and ran lessons at the technology camps.