bellajane
Jan 17, 2017
Writing Feedback / Given pie charts compare the number of inhabitants in Yemen and Italy in 2000 [5]
In my opinion, your introduction is not really good. 'Given are pie charts', you should use the phrase ' the given pie charts compare ...'. Both of THE countries is more correct.
In the second paragraph, saw a slight change ( with no 's')
Other mistakes were corrected by other people.
ah, one more thing to say: Cohesion in your essay is quite good. Keep up your work! Just practice!
In my opinion, your introduction is not really good. 'Given are pie charts', you should use the phrase ' the given pie charts compare ...'. Both of THE countries is more correct.
In the second paragraph, saw a slight change ( with no 's')
Other mistakes were corrected by other people.
ah, one more thing to say: Cohesion in your essay is quite good. Keep up your work! Just practice!