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Posts by goo9dan
Name: Asol KIm
Joined: Feb 19, 2017
Last Post: Feb 19, 2017
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Korea

Displayed posts: 5
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goo9dan   
Feb 19, 2017
Writing Feedback / Opinions of celebrities are powerful for young people who haven't decided their major. TOEFL Writing [2]

The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.

the prestige of fame



Some people argue that the opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people than there are to older people. this is because they tend to follow celebrities. Others assert that is not true because affect of opinions of celebrities are equal to young people and older people because they are both independent existences to judge. However, I think opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people who haven't decided their major and haven't enough knowledge to criticize celebrities's opinion. Let me explain in details.

First, the opinions of celebrities can affect to young people who haven't decide their major. This is because their appearance and opinion are really powerful specifically to young people. For example, when I was a high school student at the time many celebrities mentioned how cook is so cool job and how amazing job it is. Also, a lot of them acclaim the cooks who made fabulous dishes in a Television. So, I decided to major in cooking asian food and in hindsight, the reason that I chose was the affect of the opinions of celebrities.

Second, young people aren't enough to able to criticize opinions of celebrities. They tend to believe and follow socially renowned and familiar celebrities. A study was conducted by Tim Rath, the professor, Harvard Social Psychology Behavior Department to understand why many young people follow celebrities than others. The result says that more than 70percentage of the subject who are teenagers follow celebrities. This is because they have a tendency to believe the people they all know. Also, They rely on the people who are familiar like celebrities. These play a vital role for young people to trust mentions of renowned people.

In conclusion, affects of opinions of celebrities are powerful for young people who haven't decided their major and haven't enough background to criticize.
goo9dan   
Feb 19, 2017
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Moving to a new city or country is not agood idea because you will lose your old friends [4]

@Holt
Oh Holt Thanks for replying. I didn't knot the rule of this website. I didn't meant it, I will follow the rule of it from now.

anyway I'm a little confused with the reason you mentioned above.
should I don't add the opposite side of my view? or should I add the opposite side of my view precisely?
Thanks in advance. I'm learning english everyday at home!!
goo9dan   
Feb 19, 2017
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Moving to a new city or country is not agood idea because you will lose your old friends [4]

Moving out means losing friends?



Based on their personal beliefs, some people might say that we should not move to a new city or country because we will lose our old friendships. However, I strongly believe that if you move to a new city, you can maintain your friendships and make them stronger. Let me explain why.

Firstly, living away from your friends is a great opportunity for your friendships to grow. We can think about the relationship sincerely when we are apart from each other. Often, distance makes the heart grow fonder. For example, when I stayed with my girlfriend in Vancouver, I used to happily recall the good times that I spent with my old friends from middle school and high school. My friends also experienced the same thing. So, we tried to talk and care for each other more often.

Secondly, distance can help a relationship grow stronger. This is because there are a lot of things that we can share with each other, such as politics and culture. If we stay in one city our entire life, we may not have anything fun or interesting to share. Also, we can inform each other about current events. For example, if one of my friends is curious about the reaction regarding the prime minister of Canada, then, I can accurately inform them right away. So it's more beneficial for us. According to the study conducted by Harvard University, the more people who move to another city or country, the more their relationships with old friends become stronger.It reveals that distance is not an important factor to maintain or make our friendships stronger.

In conclusion, moving to a new city or country allows us to not only maintain our old friendships, but also gives us the opportunity to deepen our relationships by making our friendships stronger.
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