Posts by xuancuong

xuancuong

Jan 22, 2019

Writing Feedback / Nowadays, going abroad for studying has been more and more popular, also among Vietnamese students [3]

Hello Margaret,
The essay is very good as it addresses all part of the question. Most ideas are given with some explanations and logically organized which is very great.

However, there are certainly some missteps there: you should use more complex sentences in your essay to boost your score up. Simple connecting words such as "while", "even though" can greatly improve your overall score.

There is also room for better vocabulary. The simple and non-academic words such as "bad" should be avoided. A sufficient range of vocabulary also helps you from repeating word in your writing.

This is my personal opinion, but I would suggest you not to use pronoun like "I, you" too much in your essay.
Cheer.

xuancuong

Mar 17, 2017

Writing Feedback / Lights and shadows of being a known person [4]

Question: Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Celebrities have no privacy

Essay:

Being widely acknowledged is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, everything has it positive and negative aspects. However, I'm standing a strong believe that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits of being a well-known personality. Herein, I'm supporting my stand presenting how fame can cause disruptions.

Being a celebrity is being considered equally to being riches which also mean more responsibilities. However, do not be effected, there is no easy money as celebrities are continuously loaded with contracts of endorsing, presentative shows, etc.. Consequently, having time for family and children is certainly decreased. Because of inherent disadvantages, sitting in the hall of fame doesn't seem as wonderful as it sounds.

Furthermore, it's debatable that celebrities will be targeted wherever they go or even in daily basic activities. Celebrities magazine's reporters are in every corner, hungering for a moment of star's carelessness or lacking of self-conscious actions. Imagining waking up see your name under a highlighted title for a miss-behavior is, unfortunately, certainly repressing. Thus, celebrities have to watch every single move they make, concerning their idolatry is vulnerable.

Despite numerous benefits of how celebrities gain, it is undeniable that your privacy is no longer belongs to you. Standing a high chance that scarifying some of your relations is most likely inevitable. I do strongly believe in a saying that "Do not judge a book by its cover", celebrities have to face a number of problems rather than enjoy the benefits it brings.