Unanswered [26] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by springblossoms
Name: huxiaolan
Joined: Apr 3, 2017
Last Post: Apr 25, 2017
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
Likes: 1
From: China
School: wuhan university

Displayed posts: 6
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springblossoms   
Apr 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / The First Day on My New Job [3]

@Holt
Thank you for your advice, especially that of protect other's privacy.
I will try to do it better next time.
springblossoms   
Apr 20, 2017
Writing Feedback / The First Day on My New Job [3]

work as a design assistant in a real estate company



I got the new job as a design assistant in a real estate company 3 years ago. The first day on my new job, which was my 20th day in the new city, surely was a nerve-racking day for me. Standing in front of the tall buildings, I was full of anxiety. What kind of people would I meet? How could I handle things well around the new place while I had no similar experience? If I couldn't grasp the rules and procedures quickly, I might be rejected on probation period. All questions came to me when I stepped into the office.

First of all, meeting new people was a challenge. I met the HR. Ms. Peng, a nice woman with a soft voice. She told me about new rules of the company and took photos for my work card. Her standard and professional smile couldn't relieve my uneasiness. I cared my clothes and hair style frequently and my palms sweated much. I also met my immediate boss: the design manager, MR. Xie, a man looked learned and refined. He gave some directions about my work ahead, and some dos and don'ts too. They were so complicated that I were in a right mess and couldn't remember them all. I felt my face red and when he greeted me with a handshake, I felt my heart beating fast. Other colleagues in departments were so many that I couldn't recognize them all. I worried about how to call them. Just then a MR. Wong or might MR. Liu came to me to ask me to lunch together in the company refectory, but I couldn't call his name. I felt compunctious and only to smile.

Second, I tried hard but just couldn't find my way around the new place in one day. Various excel sheets should be signed and handed to different departments. The previous colleagues who had once been on my position only told me these simply and some even were not mentioned. I was in a total mess. Financial tables should first be signed by the department manager and then the CFO and last the company's deputy general manager. They were in different rooms and even different floors. Where the lunch place was and when I could have a rest were other problems. Fortunately, one of my dear new colleagues voluntarily took me to lunch and explained me how to get a lunch by a meal ticket. Obviously, I had not been told about this! Until the end of the day, I couldn't find a chance, or in other words, I didn't dare, to come out to buy a drink, for fear that my manager might call me at any moment. I was also embarrassed when the manager asked me to copy some files: because I had no experience of using a printer before. After a struggle of learning immediately, ultimately I made it.

Finally, and probably most important, I must learn new rules and procedures quickly and accurately. The form of excel spreadsheet for various use made me confused. If one wanted to claim payment, there were three different sheets he should hand in: a budget sheet, a business travel application sheet signed by general manager, and a payment request paper. All signed by different people and then collected by me to hand them to the financial colleagues. As a new comer, flurried as I was, I persuaded myself to regard it as an excellent opportunity to anneal myself. I was also told about some procedures about costume. A business suit was a must from Monday to Thursday, casual ones were allowed only on Friday if there was no meeting with the boss. Thank goodness I was in my most formal wear that day!

The first day on my new job was really a hectic day. I behaved cautiously and prudently. All I tried to do was to give a good expression on my new manager and colleagues. However, it now seems a little bit excessively nervous. Just behave as usual and make sure that you are polite and positive. For everyone there has an experience as a new comer, they may not be that strict as you think. A certain degree of tolerance and comprehension is possible.
springblossoms   
Apr 20, 2017
Writing Feedback / Some people believe that imprisonment is the most successful way to deal with criminals. Others thin [5]

@gabby12345
I am a writing learner and just give some suggestions for your reference,if there be mistakes please overlook them.
The essay is talking in thesis "detaining criminals in jail is the most effective form of punishment",to prove the point,the writing explains from "history", "fairness"and the comparison with death penalty,and also give some suggestions about the alternative punishment.In terms of the struture of the essy ,it seems scattered and lack specific details.Especially obvious,the first support paragraph has not been adequately developed.And the last piont of alternative punishment may have little use in supporting your thesis.

All above is just for reference,let's keep writing and don't give up!
springblossoms   
Apr 20, 2017
Writing Feedback / Advertising and Consumers relation [3]

@alextran2215

In addition,

This eassy has analysed the disadvantages of advertisement and aslo talked some thing about the measures we must take to improve the situation.Because i am also a writting leaner,i just talk something about the grammer just for your reference.

1\ as a matter of fact
2\the use of article(the,a),such as "as the matter of the fact advertising had a huge effect on shopping habit and consumption of the people. "i think "people"here is to make a general reference,so the "the" here is unnecessary.You'd bettter check mistakes like this in the essay

3\"on the other hand"
4\"can reach consumers easily and help their products sell more to increase profits for companies.","their"here may have a ambiguous reference.did it refer to "consumers" or "companies"?

5\ singular and plural forms of nouns,for example: "consumers raise question that","question" or "questions"

This is just my opinion,i hope it will give you some help.I am not that good at writing,so if there be mistakes,please just overlook them.
springblossoms   
Apr 7, 2017
Undergraduate / The reason why I keep running [3]

@Holt
thank you so much for your adivce and encouragement.English written is always the biggest problem in my language learning.It is the first time that I make up my mind to improve my written.I plan to write one assay every week,and you are my first teacher.Thank you again and i will try my best and hope your further help.
springblossoms   
Apr 3, 2017
Undergraduate / The reason why I keep running [3]

not expensive method for a good health



For all day's sitting at the desk and the increasing weight, I have realized that I need more exercise. When I saw lots of residents jogging around my home, suddenly an idea occurred to me that running may be a good choice. Keep running can help us to keep fit, and it is usually inexpensive and not boring.

Running is a great way to keep heath. According to scientific researches, jogging for about 30 minutes can burn as much as 295 calories. Keep running and draw attention to food intake in the meantime, losing weight is not so difficult. Furthermore, running benefits our lungs as well as hearts, and it can also help to build leg muscles. With a custom of running, one can have a smaller chance of suffering from heart and other diseases. Besides, running is conductive to our mental health. After a whole day's work, go out and run can relieve pressure, help us better thinking, and walk out of daily troubles.

Running is perhaps the cheapest way to get exercise: all that you need is a pair of sneakers. In order to make a perfect journey to the gym, people must pay for expensive gym fees, and inevitably buy special clothing. And other exercises such as the ping-pong, badminton, special instruments are also necessary. But for running, it is more convenient to start and cheaper to begin. One can just wear a pair of comfortable shoes and start right away.

Beside the consideration of keeping fit and economic efficiency, running is interesting and easy to insist in. Run while listening to his favorite music on headphones can make a world easily that only belongs to himself. Moreover, running with friends is an excellent experience. Setting a common goal and working for it together is definitely a meaningful activity. Running, talking and unconsciously 5 kilometers are accomplished without any boredom.

Running is good for health, and it needs not so much money, and most importantly, it is fascinating enough to make a runner to keep on. That is why I keep running. When you need some exercise and find going to a gym is always a half-done work, try to begin jogging around your home and there runners like me is waiting for you to join in.
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