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Posts by Hashirama
Name: Phuong
Joined: May 3, 2017
Last Post: May 3, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 2
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Hashirama   
May 3, 2017
Writing Feedback / Difficulties of living in a city. How to make urban life better? [2]

enjoying a life in an urban place or on distant, rural areas?



MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE MIGRATING TO CITIES IN SEARCH OF A BETTER LIFE, BUT CITY LIFE CAN BE EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. EXPLAIN SOME OF THE DIFFICULTIES OF LIVING IN A CITY. HOW CAN GOVERNMENTS MAKE URBAN LIFE BETTER FOR EVERYONE?

Essay:

From the beginning of the industrialization to today's world, urbanization has appeared and always been an enormous issue for the human beings since it is totally demanding for governments to manage such populous cities. In my opinion, there are various difficulties of living in a large city and governments have certain solutions to make urban life better.

To begin with, it is apparent that cities are normally overcrowded, which may cause numerous serious problems such as high crime and poverty rates or making them more vulnerable to terrorist attacks. For instance, with the population at millions, Paris, New York City and Brussels were suffered bloody terrorist attacks, causing billions of dollars in property and infrastructure damage and thousands of deaths. The second difficulty could be that the environment, particularly the air quality in cities, is exceedingly poor. To illustrate, there was an experiment made by walking on streets in Beijing with a vacuum cleaner and using it to suck up the air for a few hours per day throughout a week. After 7 days, they got a 4 kilograms cube of metal. In addition, it is absurd to disregard the high cost of living for the urban inhabitants. Citizens have to pay expensive prices for housing, transportation and food. Consequently, the city life these days is obviously hard, unhealthy and even insecure.

To tackle those complicated issues, I believe governments have several measures to take. Firstly, removing industrial zones to rural areas would be the perfect solution. People tend to move to large metropolises on account of their attractiveness for job opportunities, hence this strategy could help to decrease the overcrowding, pollution and traffic congestion in cities and also balance the urban and rural areas in population and economy. Secondly, governments should invest more and more money for affordable and social housing, which could help to raise the standard of living, especially for the less well off. Furthermore, in order to counter crime and terrorist attacks, increasing security forces and controlling immigrants seem to be the sole ways. Frankly, these are just partial measures for this worry, a permanent solution is still out of reach.

In conclusion, it is undoubted that city life is not simply easy. Nevertheless, it is believed that governments have enough ability and power to solve those issues, notwithstanding the existing entanglements.

Hashirama   
May 3, 2017
Writing Feedback / PRESERVING RARE LANGUAGES FROM VANISHING [2]

I've found some mistakes in your essay:
_Language as so many "another things" like art and old ...
_Ancient hieroglyphic language "has" disappeared in Egypt
_... and language "comprises" a very important part ...
_For instance, a study "at" Oxford (...) was obvious "for" the international students
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