Posts by bakakurothanhtam

bakakurothanhtam

May 6, 2017

Writing Feedback / Raising a company productivity through promotions - basing on a performance or on the seniority? [3]

"In some organizations, promotions are based on seniority and are based on performance" --> do not copy exactly words from your question. You should paraphrase, so that it has the same meaning, but with different words.

"The advantages of promotions that based on seniority are the member ..." --> your sentence has three main verbs "are", "do", "will be". It is not acceptable. You should use a relative pronoun ( who, that, which, whose and whom) to introduce a defining relative clause. Personally, I will fix the sentence like this: "The advantages of seniority-based promotions are the fact that members of organization do not have to show high performance to their employers, as a result, there will be no competition to get a promotion."

bakakurothanhtam

May 6, 2017

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay task 1 - Table "Scottish cultural activities" [2]

Various cultural activities in Scotland

The given table depicts age-wise details of participation in terms of various cultural activities, which were taken from a survey of 6800 Scottish adults over the past year.

Generally, the cultural pursuits in the provided table were grouped into 6 types with the most participants registering in performance, craft works, visual arts and cultural purchases of between 15-22% for all respondents. In contrast, writing and computer-assisted cultural activities generated a low level of interest, which varied between 6 and 7%.

Looking at the specific demographic groups, the 16-24 year-olds were most likely to undertake performance and visual arts, at 35% and 30% respectively. The remaining cultural categories were less participated, whose recorded percentages were similar from 10 to 17%.

For participants aged between 25 and 44 years old as well as the 45-75 year-olds, the cultural activities including engaging performance, craftworks, purchasing items of cultural interest and visual arts had the highest level of participation, ranging from 11 to 22% of all those surveyed. Writing and computer-based pursuits experienced less interest in these age groups at a comparatively small range of between 5-9%.

Scottish cultural activities