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Posts by thieman
Name: Pham Nhu
Joined: Jun 9, 2017
Last Post: Jun 9, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: Viet Nam
School: Vo Thi Ly

Displayed posts: 2
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thieman   
Jun 9, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: Education in prison is used to reduce the crime rate so that prisoners can get a job. [2]

education for prisoners



There is a widespread belief that prisoners should be given the well-education to make a fresh start after serving out their sentence. I also belief that education for offenders is a useful key to decrease the crime rate. The overall structure of the essay takes the form of two parts, including how education gives prisoners the chance rehabilitation and the reason why having a job supports them on community association.

Education in jail is utilized for remoulding the figure of criminals to make them better. First of all, social isolation in jail provides environment for inmates to instigate violent disturbance which results in injury to others. Education requires people utilizing their time and the energy appropriatly and therefore, disturbance rate is decreased. Prisoners also learn how to improve themselves and spend time on helpful things. The second reason is, prisoners are training for advancing skills which supports them after rehabilitating. Not only that, but the inmates also have more time the normal to improve the skillfuless.

On the other hand, having a job takes a considerable part in mitigating the crime rate. Firstly, position of employment provides the criminal opportunities to embark on being a helpful individual. It also helps them show a sense of responsibility for society which the reducing re-offending proportion is the implication for. The second is, the convict who is released back to the community acts as a deterrent to avoid breeding future offenders. The evidence suggests that youngster who approach with the liberated convicts have reduce their probality to commit crime.

In conclusion, well-education should be given by the inmates because it transforms the criminals'mind positively and build them skills which gives them a job after reintegrating back into community. Education also plays a vital role in in lessen the crime proportion.
thieman   
Jun 9, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Electricity Production Change in Australia and France [4]

nuradiapuspa there are some observed mistakes in the introducing paragraph: after "five different", you should give a noun in plural form and then rewrite "of fuels"; the next sentence have a similar mistake with "different pattern", "pattern" should be rewrited in plural form, and "eventough" is a vocab mistake.
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