Iris Riverside
Jun 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / Television influences badly on children's creativity [4]
@Holt
Thank you Holt for your review. I'm sincerely grateful. Firstly, I d'like to say that my full essay topic is "Some British families decide not to buy televisions because they influence the development of the creativity of children. What do you think?". I was so careless that I forgot to entail it in my post. Secondly, I need to say again that your review is extremely valuable to me, which will help me deal with my weaknesses. I know my essay is imbalance but in the 4th paragraph and the con discussion, I lost my words and did'n know what should be written to extend the paragraphs. Could you help me out?
@Holt
Thank you Holt for your review. I'm sincerely grateful. Firstly, I d'like to say that my full essay topic is "Some British families decide not to buy televisions because they influence the development of the creativity of children. What do you think?". I was so careless that I forgot to entail it in my post. Secondly, I need to say again that your review is extremely valuable to me, which will help me deal with my weaknesses. I know my essay is imbalance but in the 4th paragraph and the con discussion, I lost my words and did'n know what should be written to extend the paragraphs. Could you help me out?