celinechan
Jun 30, 2017
Writing Feedback / Is Violence the Result of TV, computers, and video games? [7]
I don't think this is a suitable form of an essay.
I don't think this is a suitable form of an essay.
celinechan
Jun 30, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: Protecting architectural heritage [4]
Hi Tran, I have read your article. Firstly, I think your introductory paragraph is good because you successfully paraphrased the statement weel. However, the article lacks some transition words to make the essay smoother.
Hi Tran, I have read your article. Firstly, I think your introductory paragraph is good because you successfully paraphrased the statement weel. However, the article lacks some transition words to make the essay smoother.
celinechan
Jun 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / Parents have a dilemma and are unsure if their children should compete or cooperate with others [3]
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are parents who have a dilemma and are unsure if their children should compete or cooperate with others. Nowadays, competition is too tight among students from school to outdoor activities. However, I think it would be better to tell children the importance of cooperation, instead of emphasizing how necessary a sense of competition is.
Competition in children should not be encouraged because this may destroy their innocent happiness. Actually, parents are a big factor in competitions among children. For instance, some of them force their kids to recite poems about the Tang Dynasty as many as possible because parents feel ashamed if their children remember less than their peers.
What's more, although competition would make a progress, it could also bring the sense of discouragement and frustration, which may put children down and become unconfident. Besides, children who only know how to compete with others but lack kindness, honesty, and cooperation, may not build true friendship with others. However, teamwork is important since competition is becoming fierce. Nowadays, it is almost impossible for a person to finish his work or fight for his future alone.
In comparison with competition, parents would encourage their children to cooperate with others. As for children, by developing teamwork, they could learn how to get along with others and respect them. Moreover, not only will children gain friendship, they could also acquire knowledge from others' experiences, which are helpful in correcting their shortcomings. Therefore, teamwork is encouraged developed in schools broadly.
In conclusion, a sense of competition should not be encouraged even though it could motivate children's capacity to some extent. In my opinion, cooperating with others is more important in children's learning and growth development. However, it is not also wise to depend too much on others.
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
competition or cooperation among kids?
There are parents who have a dilemma and are unsure if their children should compete or cooperate with others. Nowadays, competition is too tight among students from school to outdoor activities. However, I think it would be better to tell children the importance of cooperation, instead of emphasizing how necessary a sense of competition is.
Competition in children should not be encouraged because this may destroy their innocent happiness. Actually, parents are a big factor in competitions among children. For instance, some of them force their kids to recite poems about the Tang Dynasty as many as possible because parents feel ashamed if their children remember less than their peers.
What's more, although competition would make a progress, it could also bring the sense of discouragement and frustration, which may put children down and become unconfident. Besides, children who only know how to compete with others but lack kindness, honesty, and cooperation, may not build true friendship with others. However, teamwork is important since competition is becoming fierce. Nowadays, it is almost impossible for a person to finish his work or fight for his future alone.
In comparison with competition, parents would encourage their children to cooperate with others. As for children, by developing teamwork, they could learn how to get along with others and respect them. Moreover, not only will children gain friendship, they could also acquire knowledge from others' experiences, which are helpful in correcting their shortcomings. Therefore, teamwork is encouraged developed in schools broadly.
In conclusion, a sense of competition should not be encouraged even though it could motivate children's capacity to some extent. In my opinion, cooperating with others is more important in children's learning and growth development. However, it is not also wise to depend too much on others.
