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Posts by nguyentram
Name: Tram Nguyen
Joined: Jul 20, 2017
Last Post: Jul 21, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: Vietnam
School: VLU

Displayed posts: 2
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nguyentram   
Jul 21, 2017
Writing Feedback / "A lot of people want to get married at later ages. Why is this trend popular ?" [5]

@Holt
I really appreciate for your comments. This was the first essay I have written so I do not know the right way to connect two questions in the original instructions. You mean that I have to write the first paragraph with the topic sentence "getting married is a barrier to career achievements" and try to discuss it by using a strong supporting statement. Similarly, the second paragraph will be used to talk about positive aspects of this trend. But How many good sides should I mention to ?

@akbarmappiare
May you show me the mistakes I made in the meaning and grammar and give me some synonyms to paraphrase the statements used in the introductory paragraph, please ?
nguyentram   
Jul 20, 2017
Writing Feedback / "A lot of people want to get married at later ages. Why is this trend popular ?" [5]

A lot of people want to get married at later ages.
Why is this trend popular ?
Is it a good development ?


marriage among older couples



Marriage has long been viewed as one of the biggest decisions of life. However, marriage in the later ages seems to become a common phenomenon these days. The following essay will discuss the reasons and consider whether it is positive or not.

To begin with, there are many reasons leading to the trend. First of all, it is obvious that discovering the self has become the number one priority of many people in the modern life. In other words, many people tend to spend most of their time to enjoy their personal life or pursue their own interests such as travelling, studying rather than taking a nuptial vow. On the other hand, the fast changing world creates many opportunities for people to establish their dream career. As a result, many people will make full use of the time before marriage to focusing on their goals in working. Hence, tying a knot becomes one of the barriers to gain their career achievements.

As to the question of whether this trend is good or not. There is no doubt that this tendency is highly beneficial for people in many aspects. Firstly, we cannot deny the fact that when being mature, people develop better perspectives of everything and this means that it helps people deal with marriage in an efficient way. Besides, this trend also helps people create a strong bank balance for a stable future and ensure financial security for the rest of time. However, all things contain within them both merits and drawbacks and marriage in the middle ages is not the exception. Obviously, when getting married later, people have to live under enormous pressure coming from their parents and their surrounding environment. More seriously, it often becomes hard for couples in a later marriage to spend quality time together as job and career become more important to them.

In conclusion, tying a knot later in life comes with both advantages and disadvantages.

P/s: I'm stuck at the conclusion. I really appreciate for any comments and clues.
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