Posts by Bankyfolarin

Bankyfolarin

Aug 12, 2017

Scholarship / 'Teaching English Language' - MY CHEVENING LEADERSHIP/INFLUENCER ESSAY------- Bankole Akinfolarin [5]

@Holt

I am very grateful for the comments. I will review and re-post it.

Please, keep in touch.

Thanks!

Bankyfolarin

Aug 12, 2017

Writing Feedback / [Toefl] an effective leader should try to make others part of the decision making process [13]

Great day!

I have a couple of corrections to make on your essay.

First, I think it is time we began to correct the saying: Two heads are better than one. Of course, just any two heads cannot be better than one good head. It will be safer to say: Two good heads are better than one.

Referring to others' opinions always results in wise decisions.------- It is not every person's opinion that is sound, solid and safe to make a reference to. There is an over-generalization in that statement. While some opinions are dangerous to consider, some other opinions are just a great fit for a better decision for a more effective and productive output. To be on a safe side, it's better to say: Referring in some people's opinion always...

... a board of directors leaded by a head. Before the company make a decision...------- Note that 'led' is the past tense of the lexical verb 'lead' (...board of directors led by a head). Also, the collective noun 'company' is functioning in the singular here and as such, going by the first rule of Concord (subject-verb agreement), the singular noun 'company' must go with the singular verb 'makes,' not make.

... take part in making decisions,create a humorous phenomenon.----- Few corrections: there is no need for a comma after 'decisions.' I guess you meant to say: Decisions only made by the/a leader result in... because the only character that should be talked with/to is the leader.

Communication creates a time for people to be familiar with others...-------- It is better to say: ...to be familiar with others; in the meantime,... As a consequence, each one tends to consider others...

Bankyfolarin

Aug 12, 2017

Scholarship / Chevening essay on leadership - Servant leadership essay [6]

I just have a couple of bullet corrections to make in your essay, if they go well with you.

~~When having~~ worked for ABC... ------ The time marker 'when' is not fit for this context again having used 'having.' It is much better to say: Having worked for ABC...

On February 2016...------ Please, note that the word 'on' is used in this context to show time when the date is day and month-specific ( as in: On the 12th August, 2016) but the moment the date does not specify the day and the month, then you can use 'in' or 'by' (as in: In February/By February 2016...).

'And I believe that my personal traits and working experience ...'------ I think there is something wrong in the semantic string of words together here. Chevening prides itself in fanning to flame the leadership department of people who have demonstrated certain leadership traits and discharge of leadership responsibilities at some points in their career and are willing to go a step further in developing their leadership space by influencing and networking (as one of the ways) with the renowned Chevening Alumni network in over 160 countries to make specific developmental impacts in your local community (own country) so as to further strengthen the cord of partnership between your country and the UK.

Remember this is Chevening, a globally prestigious body with various applicants and scholars, telling them that you believe your personal traits and working experience will make you to be able to become a future leader will be too weak an expression to qualify you for a selection. What it simply means is that you really have not functioned in some leadership capacities that could convince you that indeed, you are a leader, and a potential great leader. It means all what you have said is subject to a doubt concerning your leadership experience, just going by that expression. That might not convince them that you deserve their scholarship.

If there is one thing that must be given utmost attention in life-changing and largely contested applications like this, it is DICTION------ CAREFUL CHOICE OF WORDS, CAREFUL COMBINATION OF WORDS.

'In the next ~~two month,~~ our likes on Facebook have ~~increased double,~~ even ~~fourth time~~ higher than previous posts'------ Please, note these corrections: 'two months,' 'have increased OR doubled' (not increased double---- it is repetition) and 'four times.'

'Chevening scholarship will be a golden chance for me to be more motivated and inspired ...'------ You must not just tell them that what will motivate you are 'Chevening leaders and influencers' without also showing that you are self-motivated by your powerful and influencing qualities, traits, potential and passion to help your community (country) develop and grow more.

Bankyfolarin

Aug 11, 2017

Scholarship / 'Teaching English Language' - MY CHEVENING LEADERSHIP/INFLUENCER ESSAY------- Bankole Akinfolarin [5]

the area of my passion

I see a close blend of core tenets linking the basic values of Chevening with that of my chosen Courses and Universities which all in all pinpoint an affinity with my deepest passion, vision, potential and abilities. In the order of the chosen Schools and Courses, from my summation, Chevening favours (TESOL), Teaching English Language to the Speakers of Other Languages which identifies with the area of my passion (teaching the English Language for massive impact).

Leadership is not by title but by taking up responsibilities. My four-year Bachelors (Hons) course in the Adekunle Ajasin University was one full of leadership responsibilities for me. Each of the seven and nine courses I took for eight semesters always came with group assignments and presentations. People often jostle to fall in my group because they know they would not have to do much as I always take up the responsibility of researching, compiling and presenting the papers before a team of Lecturers. I was always leading my groups. There was a group assignment that tore everyone apart but by my personal solution to the assignment, the Lecturer acknowledged he never thought the question could be answered like I did until after my presentation. He confirmed he learnt a lot from my presentation.

Leadership is followership; not being bossy. Every leader at every capacity still has a leader, external or internal to submit to. From experience, I have come to a close that leadership success tells more on how well one is able to lead and mobilize others to achieve set goals. As the Project Manager and Senior Editor at Abundant Life House Publishers for three years, I was able to coordinate, manage and inspire the editors to do quality and meticulous jobs and meet targets; even with the online members of my team. Most of them are far older than me but they followed completely because of my leadership philosophies. A leader will accomplish more tasks and influence more people if he does not lord over his subjects though still firm and uncompromising.

Leadership is service. A leader is a servant with the necessary information per time as communication is a necessary tool of effective and unquestionable leadership. I am not surprised I often emerge a leader everywhere I go. This is not disconnected from my powerful and sound communication skills both oral and written. I have served as General Secretary to different Associations and Welfare Societies including the Association of Nigerian Authors (ANA) AAUA Ondo State Chapter where I was also a member writing Poems. I have my poems published in the Chapter's Anthology and the School's English Studies' departmental Press Board. I was the Coordinator of all the Corps Members serving in three different communities back in 2013 to 2014 during my National Youth Service year in Osun State, Obokun Local Government, Nigeria.

A leader educates. Everyone that comes around me gets educated and inspired. I have a Facebook page where I teach people Correct English also.