Posts by youngjoony

youngjoony

Oct 19, 2009

Undergraduate / quantum mechanics - Why does Brown interest me? [14]

Brown short answer: WHY?

Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply? (1000 char)

On the second floor of the Rock, past the Writing Center, into a wing with books printed 200 years ago, and to your immediate left there is another wing completely absent of shelves. It may look like a scene from the Matrix - doors doing down both walls. I turned to my friend who was giving me a tour and whispered, "What the hell is this?" Having said nothing, I assumed she hadn't even known about it. I looked into the window of the first room on my right and I found a desk built into the wall as well as your average rolling chair. I then noticed that all the rooms were empty. Maybe it wasn't time for these rooms to be of use, not being midterms yet. But what did that matter? Who in their right minds would pass on those amazing rooms, which I bet are sound proofed? Those rooms were created because someone thought to put them there. Someone assumed that one day someone who needed the quiet would find those rooms to become one with knowledge and learning. That's what I would do.

Any feedback about anything would be greatly appreciated. Grammar? Syntax? Diction?

youngjoony

Oct 19, 2009

Undergraduate / Common App 150 word short answer, My Favorite Sport [6]

Try to show your passion. Not the sport itself. The reader knows how the game works. But dont worry. Many of us, including myself, are having a hard time condensing.

youngjoony

Oct 19, 2009

Undergraduate / 'Not afraid of challenges' - Duke engineering why essay [3]

"For me, there are both individual and social purposes of education: one is to gain knowledge to enrich myself, the other one is to gain practical skills to make other people's life better ." The red highlights two dependent clauses stuck together with a comma. Cant do that. You might want to change it to "For me, there are both individual and social purposes of education: to gain knowledge to enrich myself and gain practical skills to make other people's lives better.

I want to know how electronic devices work sytemsatically; I want to make my touchscreen cellphone more sensitive; I want to apply 3D technology to computers; I want to challenge my brain to make the most complex integrated circuit; I want to make all my unreal ideas real. It may have a stronger effect on the reader if they were simply separated by periods. Its not used improperly, but just better reading and style.

Yet this is merely a tip of the iceberg. Idiomatic phrase which should be "Yet this is merely the tip of the iceberg."

Much more. Maybe you should take it to your english teacher.

youngjoony

Sep 3, 2009

Undergraduate / quantum mechanics - Why does Brown interest me? [14]

Have you read other essays for Brown? I was just wondering if you got a certain feeling out of my essay. I want to come off as inspired. I also want to show my quirkyness (which I havent had the liberty of adding to the essay yet).

youngjoony

Sep 3, 2009

Undergraduate / quantum mechanics - Why does Brown interest me? [14]

Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply? (1000 char)

Last school year, my 3rd period class in the morning always woke me up. AP Physics C with Mr. (asdfgh) was usually the highlight of my day. (asdfgj), whose Alma mater happens to be Brown, is the most riveting teacher I've ever had. It's not unusual that we started our day talking about random things related to physics. We've talked about light speed on Star Trek as well as about quantum mechanics (or how we as students didn't understand a lot of it). But Mr. (asdffg) never advertised Brown; it was the kind of thinker he was that did. He had this crazy way of thinking that was coherent - most of the time anyway. This great intellectual man loved physics and astronomy and it was quite apparent. It led me to believe that Brown was a place where people were allowed to foster their interests and passions. The open curriculum seems to be the obvious answer. At what other institution can you make you own curriculum that would push you in the way that you knew yielded the best results?

This is a draft. I already know its a bit too much of a story. My real problem is that I dont know where to start taking it from a story to the reason why. Any feedback is much appreciated.