Writing Feedback / Changing job; my writing should score 6 for IELTS, can you help me to improve my writing ability [4]

topic: Nowadays many young people in work force change their jobs or careers every few years. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

the frequency of changing jobs

What a common phenomenon is that young generations would like to change their job every few years be under great risk for their careers, as a result, the frequency of job hopping.

There are two significant matters to explain why the youth prefers enduring some uncertain loss with vocations in a particular period of time when seeking recruitment opportunities, social security system as well as personal attitude with regard to between life and work. First of all, government, comparing with the past, allocates more manpower and resource to construct public service, especially unemployment benefits to aim for helping a certain group who lose their income's resource and cannot support their families. As a result of the implement of such laws and regulations, the young applicants can be able to seek an expected occupation in a longer time rather than having a high levels of job security. What is more, someone born in the new age would like to attempt a special jobs' position or cooperate with new colleagues to acquire the most fundamental skills and abundant practical experience to address some situation they facing promptly though changing jobs.

However, some drawbacks found in such method tend to be a threat for building a sustainable society. What the problem of the frequently hopping is that the loss of specialist for which seekers are not able to obtain professional knowledge of certain research fields. Moreover, they might develop mental problems and physical diseases if they fail to be recruited with their expected international companies or organizatio