Undergraduate / 'some kind of medical career' - Umich admission essay LSA: career [5]

Try use different kinds of sentences.

Too much "I ..."

Undergraduate / "I'm like a lot of things" - Is this good? UCF/Tufts [6]

Topic is interesting.

But I think the certain "quality" you want to convey is not THAT clear.

Undergraduate / "To stand out among 40,000+ students" - umich diversity essay [5]

Most of your essay is about how you think of diversity.

The purpose of this essay is to show your experience which helps you to be different from other people.

You must reconsider it and write about your experiences or achievements etc.

Good Luck!

Undergraduate / "Being a Beijing Yatou..." [university of michigan (diversity)] [5]

Beijing Yatou ... Nice touch!
Although every Chinese is familiar with such a call, not many foreigners know about it.

I'll probably call myself Ye Mener sometimes... Haha

Undergraduate / "Success doesn't come to you" - UCF Essay [4]

Most of your essay is telling how great UCF is.
I think you should tell something more about yourself and let admission officer sense the match between you and UCF.

Undergraduate / Cornell Engineering Essay - Aircraft doors [4]

I think it's pretty good.
Very unique angle and points.

I like it!
Good luck!

Undergraduate / "you guys sing too fast!" j- Short Writing For Common Application [12]

Em...
I got you this time.
But ...
I'm not sure about whether the essay let me sense your idea or Notoman's comments let me know your idea in the first place.

Pretty good I guess.

Undergraduate / "faculty ratio and more" - UCF Admissions Essay [10]

The Why essay is pretty good. It shows different aspects which you love.

However, the second short essay, from my opinion, is a little bit unclear. You're trying to demonstrate four of your nice qualities, which will make any of them seem weak. If you focus on one or two certain qualities and use more details to support, the essay will be stronger.

Furthermore, you wrote "If accepted to the university, I will...". I think it will be the best if you could make the admission officers sense this part by themselves.

Good Luck!

Undergraduate / "you guys sing too fast!" j- Short Writing For Common Application [12]

I'm not native either, so I can hardly say something about the use of language.

After reading the essay, I only get that you made a mouth motion and controlled the chorus. It is like just a simple story, which also seems a little bit unimportant. I think it is better if you could write something about what you've learned or understood through an activity in addition to telling the story.

It is my personal opinion, don't take it too serious.