Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by kris123
Name: Krystal Wong
Joined: Oct 25, 2017
Last Post: Oct 26, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

Displayed posts: 2
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
kris123   
Oct 26, 2017
Writing Feedback / Exercise or a balanced diet to health? Discussion essay. [7]

I also agree that you should clearly state your position at the beginning. You may want to re-consider the first parts of your sentences to improve the flow of your essay because 'on the one hand', 'finally', 'in conclusion' breaks it down too much and is a bit repetitive.

As for the health aspects, without any references you could just make general statements ie.

Specifically, by only exercising without ...
By only exercising and still making unhealthy food choices such as consuming excess salt and sugar, this could lead to future chronic health conditions such as diabetes or cancer.

Also your last paragraph doesn't flow as well. Perhaps try: Although exercise contributes to proper body function, a healthy diet is equally as necessary because it helps reduce the risk factors for developing potential health issues. Together, these habits will provide a more holistic approach to a healthy lifestyle and have a greater chance in avoiding future diseases.

Hope this helps!
kris123   
Oct 25, 2017
Graduate / Public health to enhance my journey in health promotion and chronic disease prevention [2]

Hi everyone,

I could really use some feedback for my letter of intent. I'm finding it difficult to describe how the program fits to my goals...thank you!!

"Applicants are encouraged to be specific in their letters of intent and clearly articulate applicants' interests in pursuing the MPH at XXX, and describe how the program fits within their overall personal and professional goals. Please avoid duplicating the information in the LOI with the details of your CV. An effective LOI should identify how you will use the skills and knowledge from your work and educational experiences towards achieving your goals in the MPH program. Further, the LOI should demonstrate an understanding of the Public Health field. The LOI must not be more than 700 words."

MPH program application



The idea that social marketing is using commercial marketing concepts, but to promote change and influence health behaviours rather than selling a product was eye opening to me. Throughout my health sciences coursework and hands on community and public service experience, I felt my passion for public health grow, especially in health promotion and chronic disease prevention. I am drawn to the Masters of Public Health program at XXX because it will allow me to tailor my current experience and interest in health promotion which focuses the 'how' to prevent chronic diseases, while also filling in the gaps where I want to gain a full perspective on understanding and applying the 'why' through epidemiological data to clearly define the problem, design and prioritize effective prevention programs.

I believe public health in practice takes a collaborative effort from multiple sectors and has the ability to empower individuals and communities to make informed health decisions. My experiences working in non-profit organizations placed me in a unique position where I was the connector of partnerships with a wide range of stakeholders all aiming to achieve the same goal. Working on a healthy cooking and eating Type 2 diabetes prevention program, I discovered that the key successes were not only the education provided in a hands on learning environment to enable people to make informed health decisions, but also the training of lay people within the local communities to teach this program. I was involved in implementing, delivering and evaluating this curriculum-based program as well as a train-the-trainer model where my strong communication and research skills were essential in achieving positive health outcomes and increasing community capacity.

I also became involved with the XXX as a health promotion champion because I wanted to put health promotion theories into practice and impact community action at various age levels. I established the first-ever health promotion aspect to 'Relay for Life XXX', which is a 12-hour relay cancer fundraising event at XXX. This event previously had no healthy food policies, physical activities for participants or strong emphasis on cancer prevention strategies. I collaborated with the committee members to develop and implement a health promotion and communications plan. I also advocated for a provincial ban on flavoured tobacco and provided harm reduction and education to raise awareness of the risks amongst youth and their families. I was able to apply health communication approaches to target and tailor the needs of different populations.

My present work with the XXX has provided me valuable insights into a very complex health system, while focusing on spreading and adopting innovative service improvement projects and collaborations in a wide range of clinical areas such as diabetes, healthy aging and mental health across XXX. This fast-paced environment challenges me to find creative ways to network academia, clinicians, third sector, start up digital companies and local health governments and to mobilize them to collectively improve health. Currently to date, the majority of my public health experience has been in the implementation or delivery phase of an intervention. Being surrounded by policy influencers and change makers further fuels my desire to have a stronger understanding of the research that would provide justification for initiating an intervention program. I would also be able to develop the skills to guide these interventions so that they have the highest impact, conduct effective evaluation and educate leaders that will eventually translate that research into practices and policies.

During my last semester in a community and health service course, I was asked to write a letter to my future self about where I want to be in the next six months. My professor mailed it to me and I wrote, 'I know that I want to help people and make an impact on the community, and as long as I am still doing that, I will be proud.' Six years later and this sentiment still drives me to constantly seek ways to influence positive health behaviours. I am confident that my motivation and interpersonal skills demonstrated in my academic and professional experiences will enable me to become a public health promotion specialist committed to affecting healthy change in communities.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳