benamilada
Nov 29, 2017
Undergraduate / I am applying to UBC and in the application form, it requires me to write an essay about myself [6]
Merged:
So I have re-write my essay from my last thread and I realized that I am so focused on adding the background of why I was like this and that rather than write it straight to the point. This is the essay I've written
Everybody has a passion, during my high school years, I always try to find my own. The process of finding it is not an easy journey. I faced a lot of difficulties in the process, but because I am aware of what I am doing is something good for myself, I could always find a way to get through it. My passion-finding journey changes my perspective on life. I realized that hard work is a must. I would do my best to achieve something that I want and need. Passion taught me to enjoy every moment of the process, and that makes every obstacle could be seen as a challenge by me and not as pressure, also I am always optimistic on finding the solutions of the problems and get through it. I am used to working with a team. I joined a dance club in my high school, and I had been working with my team for almost three years. They trust my positivity and competence to work with theirs, and it brings out some best results to our team. Besides dancing, I love going to new places, trying new things, basically anything that challenges me to get out of my comfort zone. So adapting to new things is not a big problem for me. I believe, being in a position that is out of a comfort zone could broaden your mind and be a better person, and I am always looking forward to developing myself more.
What about this essay? for the structure is it already decent enough to be submitted? and also what about the grammars?
Thank you for sparing your time to comment on this :)
Merged:
i have re write my essay and what do you think about this one?
So I have re-write my essay from my last thread and I realized that I am so focused on adding the background of why I was like this and that rather than write it straight to the point. This is the essay I've written
Everybody has a passion, during my high school years, I always try to find my own. The process of finding it is not an easy journey. I faced a lot of difficulties in the process, but because I am aware of what I am doing is something good for myself, I could always find a way to get through it. My passion-finding journey changes my perspective on life. I realized that hard work is a must. I would do my best to achieve something that I want and need. Passion taught me to enjoy every moment of the process, and that makes every obstacle could be seen as a challenge by me and not as pressure, also I am always optimistic on finding the solutions of the problems and get through it. I am used to working with a team. I joined a dance club in my high school, and I had been working with my team for almost three years. They trust my positivity and competence to work with theirs, and it brings out some best results to our team. Besides dancing, I love going to new places, trying new things, basically anything that challenges me to get out of my comfort zone. So adapting to new things is not a big problem for me. I believe, being in a position that is out of a comfort zone could broaden your mind and be a better person, and I am always looking forward to developing myself more.
What about this essay? for the structure is it already decent enough to be submitted? and also what about the grammars?
Thank you for sparing your time to comment on this :)
