ziminhong
Feb 11, 2018
Writing Feedback / The diagram illustrates how often Australia men and women in different age groups exercise regularly [4]
@Holt
I have re-written it as below, hope to have some feedbacks on this one. Or any other welcome.
The bar graph illustrates how often Australia men and women in different age groups exercise regularly in 2010. It can be noted that women active physically more than men.
First of all, what stands out from the graph is that there was a upward trend in the number of women who stay physically active from 15 to 54 years old, the highest percentage shown in the female group between age of 45 to 54 at 53.3%. Despite dropping marginally at the age group of 55 to 64 and it declined continuously after they were 65 years old at 47.1%, women still exercise more than men.
If we look at men, having been physically active more than women between 15 to 24 years old, a sudden decrease appeared when men reached their last twenties and it went down to less than 40 % of the male at their early thirties. Although there was a slight increase to more than 40% after they are 45 years old, the percentage was still much lower than women.
Another interesting point is that there was very little difference in the number of both men and women when they reached after 65 years old. More than two-thirds of both genders in Australia who did regular exercise in 2010.
@Holt
I have re-written it as below, hope to have some feedbacks on this one. Or any other welcome.
The bar graph illustrates how often Australia men and women in different age groups exercise regularly in 2010. It can be noted that women active physically more than men.
First of all, what stands out from the graph is that there was a upward trend in the number of women who stay physically active from 15 to 54 years old, the highest percentage shown in the female group between age of 45 to 54 at 53.3%. Despite dropping marginally at the age group of 55 to 64 and it declined continuously after they were 65 years old at 47.1%, women still exercise more than men.
If we look at men, having been physically active more than women between 15 to 24 years old, a sudden decrease appeared when men reached their last twenties and it went down to less than 40 % of the male at their early thirties. Although there was a slight increase to more than 40% after they are 45 years old, the percentage was still much lower than women.
Another interesting point is that there was very little difference in the number of both men and women when they reached after 65 years old. More than two-thirds of both genders in Australia who did regular exercise in 2010.
