Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by sultanarafin
Name: Sultan Arafin
Joined: May 28, 2018
Last Post: Jun 1, 2018
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
From: Bangladesh
School: RRU

Displayed posts: 5
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sultanarafin   
Jun 1, 2018
Graduate / Why I wish to study in Canada and what is my educational goal? Master of Global Management program [5]

@Holt
Thanks for describing everything. I have a correction for my question 1. I just added some more sentences below that answer. Would you please check that?

Please make it Urgent for a new review, thank you!

Q/1

The Master of Global Management program [...] work-ready manager and leader. Bangladesh has a high demand for the people who hold an international degree. Also, the Canadian degrees are well appreciated in here. My chances of getting a job as a teacher or as a manager will be easier if I can manage to have this degree. The course outline is way better than Master of Business Administration that we have in Bangladesh and having this degree is going to be a crucial step for me and my career opportunities in Bangladesh. This degree will keep me one step ahead of the other competitors of Bangladesh.
sultanarafin   
May 31, 2018
Writing Feedback / The shares of six age groups of both sexes who did exercises frequently in 2010 in Australia [3]

Kelsie, the first mistake is, when you are using the word overall in a sentence you have to give the overall perspective, not a specific one. (see your intro paragraph).

I do not think to separate the comparisons between men and women in different paragraphs is a good idea. It seems like you are just describing them not comparing. What I meant is, you should have compared them in a single sentence like you compared for the teenage proportion of the sexes.

The last thing I noticed is, you should have made the third paragraph from here, "Over the lifetime, women intended to do exercises frequently than men, experienced............."
sultanarafin   
May 29, 2018
Graduate / Why I wish to study in Canada and what is my educational goal? Master of Global Management program [5]

Study plan for Canadian Study Permit



I am going to apply for my study permit and visa soon and I need to submit my study plan to Canadian visa office. I will be glad if anyone suggests and corrects my mistakes as getting my visa is relying on this. Thanks in advance.

Q/1: Why do you wish to study in Canada in the program for which you have been accepted?

The Master of Global Management program of XXX University, Victoria, BC is one of the diverse programs for business students and this program helps the students to learn the global marketplace and how to blend in it. I am glad that the university authority has considered my application and given me the chance to learn more about the global market and improve my skills and tactics. Communicating effectively, thinking critically, solving problems, working with others, innovating and thinking globally are the outcomes of this program which influenced me to apply in the first place. Not only that but also the integrated holistic learning experience that transcends the boundary of culture and classroom also encouraged me to enrol myself in that program. On the other hand, this is one of the best career-oriented programs I heard about which not only teaches all the business activities but also makes skilled and work-ready manager and leader.

Q/2: What is your overall educational goal?

To date, I have completed my Bachelor's of business studies degree with a CGPA of 3.35. After completion of my bachelor's degree, I have worked as a store manager for two consecutive years in our family business. Working as a store manager was a good idea for gathering experiences but was not good enough for my career goal. To pursue my career goal of becoming a teacher I worked for a non-profitable organization as a teacher for 14 months just to gather some experiences and learn the techniques of teaching. Teaching is a very interesting field; I have the privilege to impart knowledge, see students succeed (in both business and school environments), and have been exposed to various behavioural attitudes of individuals. Teaching has been a great source of happiness to me. Master of Global Management is a program which is going to help me learn not only the business functions but also the global marketplace. By combining both of my undergraduate degree in business studies and the Master of Global Management degree, I will be able to teach effectively and efficiently to the students in future. To achieve my career goal I will take further training and courses regarding teaching profession. I have a plan to take the courses from the Teachers Training Institute of Bangladesh. My undergraduate degree and the Master of Global Management degree can seal my position as a teacher for a school or college but my ultimate career goal is to become a teacher of a university. That's why my ultimate educational goal is to earn a PhD as academic achievement and also try my hand at doing research regularly to become updated in my field.
sultanarafin   
May 29, 2018
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2 - eating local food or food from other regions [4]

The third paragraph of your essay saying,"Secondly, food imported ... under the same price level." is not possible because imported products are highly prised then local products because they are taxed and there are middlemen who seek to have profit.

I hope you will understand. By the way, I am not an expert, wait till the experts reply.
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