Undergraduate / STUDY PLAN for study permit BScience in Canada [4]

Hello everyone, I need help with my study plan for Canada study permit application.
I actually attended an Architecture degree in the UK in 2015 but dropped out after the first year. Now I am applying for BScience in Canada and have already secured a place. However, I'm not sure how to explain this situation of changing major and country of study to the Office staff. I've received comments about my sp being a bit too long, so please tell me how I could improve this sp. Thanks a lot.

the right path for me

When I began my studies in Landscape Architecture at the University of ***, UK, I thought it was the right path for me. However, as eager and passionate as I was to create a whole environmental area better along with bringing communities together, I realised that a career in designing was unsuitable for me. Thus I weighed in a decision which was a turning point for my future - changing my major. I carefully considered the strongest aspects of my personality; a passionate interest in natural surroundings, a concern for the environment and understanding of conservation issues. Therefore I have decided to instead, pursue higher studies in the more career relevant to Earth Sciences, which focuses on seeking new and innovative ways to use natural resources and minimize the effects of our activities on other species and the planet.

The University of *** offers exactly what I am looking for. It is one of the leading Earth Sciences Departments in Canada and known for excellence in research all over the world. Their faculty members are committed to excellence in scholarship, and to helping me reach my highest potential. Students can investigate their interests in the classroom, the laboratory and the great outdoors. They are given the opportunity to explore the amazing geology of Newfoundland and Labrador such as the rare fossils of Mistaken Point Ecological Reserve and the rugged, unique rocks of the Tablelands in Gros Morne National Park. They have the opportunity to participate in research projects in exotic places like New Zealand, Greece and Mediterranean. Graduates from the programme will not only leave with excellent industry-endorsed scientific training but also with a foundation of marketable career skills.

Vietnam's population has rapidly grown and industrial developments have placed unprecedented demands on Earth's natural resources. As a result, a growing demand for scientists and professionals equipped to deal with agricultural and environmental issues means a wide variety of career choices for graduates specializing in environmental science. Moreover, Canada has an excellent higher education system, hence a science degree from Canada is highly sought after in Vietnamese workplace. The cost of is also comparatively affordable, particularly compared to the UK.

Having studied in the UK for almost three years, I have gathered a good variety of skills and knowledge. During my A-levels, I chose subjects that would complement each other. Mathematics has helped me to think logically and critically whilst facing difficult challenges, Physics taught me how to apply this information practically. This has given me a solid practical approach and a wide technical knowledge base. Although I left the architecture course early, before I could finish the first year, I was able to encourage my personal development, critical judgement and self-expression, together with strong research skills. I improved these qualities when I had to compile the Cultural context module for my personal investigation as well as taking part in the Designing group project.

My Mother will financially support me during my studies. Being the chairman of *** Highschool has allowed her to have a steady income to provide funding to me for the full tuition fees and maintenance while studying in Canada. I have enclosed her business registration along with the certificate of deposit as evidence.

I am looking forward to completing the degree and returning to my country with a new perspective on culture, language skills and a great education. I am independent, willing to embrace challenges, and able to cope with diverse situations. Therefore, I will not give up until I have achieved my full potential. This is my passion and I will persevere to succeed.