RoseGold
Jul 8, 2018
Research Papers / Skins of Social Media - Paper on social media addiction [3]
Hi :) I read your research paper, and there's several suggestions I have for you:
- A more concise thesis - Usually theses are only one sentence long. Also, for example, instead of saying "...negative impact on its users..." you could say "has had more negative than positive impacts."
- Don't forget to proofread! - Fix the small grammatical/spelling errors.
- When talking about the surveys on social media addiction, I would suggest adding several sentences on where the surveys came from (or maybe footnotes, I'm not sure about what your requirements are) in order to make a stronger argument (appeal to ethos)
- Add a bit more of your own critical thinking instead of repeating what other sources have said.
Overall, this was a great research paper! Don't be discouraged by my criticism, I'm just a really picky writer! Good job :)
Hi :) I read your research paper, and there's several suggestions I have for you:
- A more concise thesis - Usually theses are only one sentence long. Also, for example, instead of saying "...negative impact on its users..." you could say "has had more negative than positive impacts."
- Don't forget to proofread! - Fix the small grammatical/spelling errors.
- When talking about the surveys on social media addiction, I would suggest adding several sentences on where the surveys came from (or maybe footnotes, I'm not sure about what your requirements are) in order to make a stronger argument (appeal to ethos)
- Add a bit more of your own critical thinking instead of repeating what other sources have said.
Overall, this was a great research paper! Don't be discouraged by my criticism, I'm just a really picky writer! Good job :)