cassandroid
Sep 18, 2009
Undergraduate / Personal statement on Physics (UCAS); I scratch my head in frustration. [4]
I think your writing style is extremely engaging - and whilst I like the way you framed your introduction, I'm not sure it's necessary. I'm sure potential tutors and lecturers are fluent in understanding imaginary planes - so your opening question 'Do you know that you can extract things out of our imaginary plane by multiplying them with the imaginary number?' might be redundant. Maybe you could alter it to become a statement. 'We can extract things out of our imaginary plane by multiplying them with the imaginary number. Think of getting ... &etc.' although I can see how that's not as punchy.
Apart from that qualm (which is probably just personal taste), a great personal statement - a good balance between anecdote and stringent academic qualities you possess and have demonstrated. Where are you applying to?
I think your writing style is extremely engaging - and whilst I like the way you framed your introduction, I'm not sure it's necessary. I'm sure potential tutors and lecturers are fluent in understanding imaginary planes - so your opening question 'Do you know that you can extract things out of our imaginary plane by multiplying them with the imaginary number?' might be redundant. Maybe you could alter it to become a statement. 'We can extract things out of our imaginary plane by multiplying them with the imaginary number. Think of getting ... &etc.' although I can see how that's not as punchy.
Apart from that qualm (which is probably just personal taste), a great personal statement - a good balance between anecdote and stringent academic qualities you possess and have demonstrated. Where are you applying to?
