Undergraduate / Yale Supplement Essay - My Little Sculptors (tentative title) [6]

-English isn't my first language (I'm from Puerto Rico), so any linguistic corrections are always welcome. Please comment on any part of my essay, with a good essay I'm pretty confident that I'll get into Yale :D

The first time I realized that I had to make a drastic change was on my 13th birthday, June 20, 2005. After having gluttonously eaten several pieces of cake, I ran to my room and stared sharply at myself in the mirror. I had never thought that my bulbous figure had even been any sort of issue (although it was the subject of many embarrassing insults), but after staring at my 5 feet, 187 pound body for almost an hour, I cried violently from embarrassment. "How could I allow this to happen to myself?" I asked myself; for once in my life, I didn't feel the invincibility that many 13 year-olds feel. After much introspection, I finally decided to make a change, to lose weight. I ran to my mother and, with tears running down my red cheeks, I told her that I wanted to lose weight. I also included that I didn't want to lose weight for anyone else but myself; I didn't want to lose weight because I was criticized or pushed to do so, I wanted to lose weight because I respected myself and my body enough to love it and take care of it.

A week later, I nervously entered the Jenny Craig centre near my house. Although I expected to be gushing of embarrassment, I felt a faint tinge of pride as I entered the white halls of the centre. "Próximo en fila, favor de reportarse" (which translates to "Next in line, please report yourself") said the black haired receptionist and I knew she referred to me. I held my mother's cold hand as I entered the office of who was to become a driving force in my life for the next few months. The consultant asked, "Dime, żpor qué ud. quiere perder peso a tan temprana edad?" ("So, tell me, why do you want to lose weight at such an early age?") and I simply answered, "Porque yo me amo a mi mismo lo suficiente..." ("Because I love myself enough..."). A week later I was 5 pounds lighter and feeling a flood of joy and satisfaction.

However, I never expected what was still to come. A month later, the tiny, pre-packaged meals seemed to be the sole sculptors of my teenage body - I had lost around 30 pounds. Two months later, these pre-packaged meals finished their masterpiece, and I could not be more grateful. I didn't really care for all the complements I received from other students (although they felt great), because the most satisfying part of it all was to look in the mirror in amazement, not in shame and that I inspired others to love themselves enough to take care of their bodies. I thank these little sculptors every day of my life.