Posts by nam1022002

nam1022002

Aug 29, 2018

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing 2 - Why people do nothing to protecting the environment and how do deal with it? [7]

Well, I can see that people had pointed out that your essay doesn't focus on what it should and you also have lots of grammatical mistakes. Therefore, I just want to give some advices:

- Use short sentences instead of one long sentence. Because when you use a sentence like that, one mistake can make your whole sentence sound illogical. You still can use complex sentences, but try to make them shorter and contain less idea.

- Improve your grammar, your score will be very low because of all of those grammatical mistakes. Find lessons about each of them on Google, there are a lot.

- Read more essays and don't be shy to use your dictionary. Try to understand meaning of the words in English and how to use them.

nam1022002

Aug 28, 2018

Writing Feedback / IELTS - The internet allows people to communicate with one another more easily [3]

I am improving my writing skills to 6.5. So I wrote this essay and I hope to receive comments about it. Thanks for all the advices!

Internet is like a magic box

Some people say that the internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

Internet is like a magic box because it has everything you want. It is also believed that the internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. I agree that communication among people is much easier now because of this wonderful tool.

In the past, when we have not had the internet yet, we kept in touch with family, friends and so on by letters or landline phones. Because of that, we had wasted lots of time just to write letters, send them and then receive the replies. However, at the moment, sending messages only takes a few second, either it can be form of an email or messages of some applications of the smartphone. We can send and receive messages straightway. Mentioning to landline phones, we all know how inconvenient they are because we can't bring them with us out of the house, they are not hand-carried. In addition, we also have to pay for telephone charges and can only talk to one person at a time. It makes the internet even better, communication has become cheaper, more convenient and more effective.

As it is a reality that benefits and limitations are like both sides of a coin, which usually run parallel. Therefore, like other things, the internet also has downsides. People are facing a lot of health problems like myopic, scoliosis, migrane and so on. Today's teenagers tend to spend their time on the internet than do other physical activities, it is why the number of teenagers suffering from the above diseases is increasing.

To conclude, the internet has become an integral part of our lives, especially in communication. However, we should control the amount of time we spend on the internet to avoid diseases.