Posts by lolessay

lolessay

Oct 29, 2018

Undergraduate / Caltech Supplemental #1 (STEM Experience) [3]

... math had come easily to me...

From a young age, I loved Mathematics and tackling a problem gave me immense joy.

... I completed my first problem on Brilliant.org,

..................... was the first problem I completed as a junior.

Since answering the question on Brilliant.org, I got more engaged to Mathematics and improved my skills. My visits to AoPS, USAMTS, Project Euler, and the seasonal Online Math Opens increased and my abilities improved. Mathematics is heartbreaking at times, tough at moment and sitting on a chair for the whole day at times is difficult often at times. But still, the joy and feeling of accomplishment that comes exponentially when I finally solve the question is much more.

Try to keep it short. Admission officers at Caltech know about Mathematics competitions, and if you have any other accomplishment please add that too.

lolessay

Oct 27, 2018

Undergraduate / Being a fearless orator is what I am proud of. Self presentation essay [2]

wild fire -----is it necessary?

... earned me the title of being "Ambitious".---Just show. Don't tell. We get to know you are Ambitious reading the essay

Remove unnecessary things and the essay should be fine. The content is good just try to make it a little lively. Remove some unnecessary words and it shall be fine.

Now I give you 3 but write again. You shall get lot better.

lolessay

Oct 24, 2018

Undergraduate / Growing up as Indian in America - What was the environment in which you were raised? [4]

s nothing like the first type: it is more fast-paced, filled with inflections, and sprinkled with Gujarati words
I think this will be better if incorporated in previous sentence...It becomes complex sentence but please give a try.

I am a first-generation born American, and being raised ...
I think first generation born... is enough to understand you come from immigrant house... please make sentence sweet

my perspective starts to shift.
my perspective started shifting....please check for redundancy and tense

I think you should spend some more time... describing self realization....may be transition can be written in detail
Otherwise everything is superb

lolessay

Oct 24, 2018

Undergraduate / "Picture perfect" kid - Common Application Prompt Number Two [3]

Beginning from Transportation part..... to.... working six days of week
I think it is better to condense it without missing any information as it is directed to making sure, you changed but your situations didn't.

Also, I suggest you to direct more energy to writing how you stopped complaining and grew. I think essay will be more better if it focuses more on self-realization.

My outlook on life has become extremely positive.
I think this is over-exaggeration. I can clearly see you worked hard to be where you are and deserve the best and think this idea can be tied up to make final paragraph more compelling.

If I had been in your place, I might have given clear idea about situation, what made me change....difficulties I faced...How I adjusted and how I realized about life..

Please have a look at mine.

lolessay

Oct 24, 2018

Undergraduate / Research world journey - Common app for research universities: Prompt no 5 [2]

"Where it all started"

Common app essay for research universities: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. PLEASE PROVIDE NECESSARY FEEDBAGS AND NO NEED TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT. I WILL HELP YOU WITH YOURS.

Since I loved teaching, I volunteered to teach students of settlement areas. We had sharing session after the class where one volunteer questioned, "Why are there less female students?" I was intrigued by the question and instantly remembered my Mathematics classroom-class with almost all empty benches. I checked the data and number it spoke the same-- less students study mathematics. I searched about factors influencing subject selection and the ways the number of mathematics students can be increased, but made no headway. This question made me restless, and the answer continued to elude me. I talked about reason for less Mathematics students to my teachers and Mathematicians but didn't get satisfactory answer. In the meantime, while discussing with my friends, term "Research" popped out. We were excited but none of us had prior research opportunity or knew how it worked. As we thought it is perfect opportunity to learn about research and contribute something to the society-we chose to go that route.

We requested 15 mathematics teachers and 4 university professors to guide us in research. The answer was-"NO" or sometimes "It's not for children, do it as your Doctorate thesis". Though we saw no light forward, we continued. We had studied about research and research methodologies through various books and decided on perception survey. When the time for literature review, I was alone, my friends had backed out.

In the meantime, the battle started within me-should I continue or not? I decided not to give up. Subsequently, my principal, came as a hope, giving me the way to move forward recommending some books and sources. As I had to devote substantial amount of time to learn and prepare drafts, I stepped down from leadership position at Partnership in Education and eventually left it. In the course, I realized, I had stopped debating and missed several school functions. I was trading a great school experience to literally get my hands into cutting-edge research activity. Finally, when track was open, I prepared the questions, administered the survey, and completed the work. My paper titled, "Why less Mathematicians- Increasing the STEM students" provides solution to increase Mathematics students in (country name).

My journey in research world didn't end with completing a paper. I completed several other papers-in Economics, Astrophysics, and presented paper in National Youth Research Competition. Surprisingly, I every other student there was undergraduate, graduate and doctorate student and I was the only high school student. Consequently, I worked in research labs and my proposal for research on "Filtration of smoke: A theoretical Approach" was accepted at National Academy of Science and Technology and Research Academy of Science and Technology of ..X.. University, making me the only high school student to have a proposal selected at both top labs of the country.

This remarkable experience opened path for various opportunities and inspired me to perform better in any task I undertake. I consider it a turning point in my academic life. It has increased my passion for research and my determination to work to improve people's quality of life. I have also become more confident in my research efforts and am able to contact any researcher to pursue a position in their laboratory. Now I can submit my papers for presentation in any forums or submit papers for publication in any research journals. I have realized that there are many opportunities for students like myself to contribute to labs and brainstorm solutions for current problems.

I realized, a slow and gradual change had occurred in me. In the course, I grew more matured, and I learned to face difficulties boldly. Moreover I realized something important. In various conditions of one's life, there are many roads which have to be travelled alone and many moves that have to be made even though we see no light of success. The only thing we should have on our mind is hope. Running to complete the research, I learned to learn. Now I am all set to run the road of my life.