Undergraduate / Tutoring program - Extra curricular activities essay [2]

Hello, i need someone to tell me how an extracurricular essay is meant to look like. I wrote two but I'm not sure which is the correct format.

I would really appreciate all opinions
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences (150-400 words)

Tutoring program

It all began as simple way to help girls in the technical drawing class of my school improve their skills. In my school technical drawing is a boy dominated class so the few girls who choose to enroll are usually underappreciated. In my senior year I began a technical drawing help class for girls which took place during the weekends in the girls' hostel. With time and contribution from all the girls in the group, everyone began improving significantly and girls became huge represents for the course. Students from other departments joined the group and after a while our little group expanded and we began teaching subjects ranging from further mathematics to literature. You can even imagine the shock and pride we felt when we found out the boys had taken a hint and began the same thing in their hostel.

Although not a formally recognized school organization, the tutoring program I believe was a huge contribution to the development of the student body, and I am more than pleased knowing the even after my set's graduation, the present senior class has continued the program.

Outside of school however, during the holidays, I provided free lessons and help with homework to the small children surrounding me. Most of my neighbors are children with ages from 2 to 10 years old who don't have any elder siblings to help them with their homework. So most of the time they come to my house for help, which I willingly offer. Most of my classmates and friends lived far away so my siblings would help whenever then had the chance. After a while parents began donating money which I used to buy a white board and markers to effectively teach the children.

In school or at home, contributing to the people and community around me with activities such as this is something I am extremely happy to participate in. (318 words)

Undergraduate / "Understanding the heart of another"- Dartmouth college supplement [3]

Hello, please i need someone to review and criticize my dartmouth college supplement essay. I badly want to get into dartmouth so I need it to be great. Thanks

the lack of communication and understanding

Prompt: In the Bingo palace, author Louise Edrich, Class of 1976, writes "... no one gets wise enough to really understand the heart of another, though it is the task of our life to try". Discuss.

"I did not say..." she says
"No don't tell me that" he interrupts
This is a common scenario of my parents bickering. Sitting in the living room-or anywhere in the house actually- with my palm against my cheek, I watch my parents have their little argument while I try not to take a side when put in-between.

Time after time I wondered why it just won't stop, and then one day I realized "none of them wanted to listen. None of them wanted to understand". There wouldn't be any need for an argument in the first place if only one of them had tried to understand the other. Soon afterwards I began noticing this wasn't just an issue with my parents, it was everywhere- elders in the community, teachers not listening to students when done something wrong, friends when having differences.

I decided to carry out an experiment: at different times, I spoke to my parents separately about the lack of communication and understanding in their relationship. After that, the rate of argument reduced and misunderstandings were resolved quicker. Although there are still times in which the initial problem is more consistent, it shows that a little bit of understanding can go a long way. Personally, I have taken this lesson from my parents and apply it to the rest of the world around me.

Also, I believe that to understand, one has to listen first. Therefore, If to even a small degree people can try to listen and then understand the heart of another then there would be a great positive change. (263 words)