Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by KatD1212
Name: Kathleen D
Joined: Dec 27, 2018
Last Post: Dec 28, 2018
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

From: United States
School: Paschal HS

Displayed posts: 4
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KatD1212   
Dec 28, 2018
Undergraduate / With which historical persona would you like to converse, and on which topic? [2]

Barnard Supplemental essay



Any advice on this supplemental for Barnard would be greatly appreciated!

Pick one woman in history or fiction to converse with for an hour and explain your choice. What would you talk about? (100-250 words)

I imagine myself sitting in a Barnard lecture hall, the only audience-member left after a recent discourse. The landscape of white walls, warm brown paneling, and dark-cushioned chairs broken is by the bright figure next to me. Rather than stand at the podium, or pace the floor at the front of the room, she chooses to sit beside me, a reminder of her constant pursuit of equality.

I initially imagined talking to Nellie Bly about her fearless approach to journalism, or perhaps meeting Josephine Baker, a performer who used her widespread acclaim to smuggle secrets for the French Resistance and advocate civil rights. Instead, given the opportunity to converse with one woman, I chose someone who has used the collective power of women to affect lasting international change. Despite experiencing loss on a catastrophic scale, she decided to use those experiences to help others, culminating in in a women's peace movement that played an important role in ending the Second Liberian Civil War, and continues to impact the country's social and political landscape.

Despite my initial nerves at meeting such an intensely driven leader, the warmth and strength she radiates quickly eases my anxiety. We discuss the importance of women in social justice, and how achieving unity across ethnic and religious lines is vital in the pursuit and preservation of peace and gender equality.

Later I would walk through campus, marveling at the courage, poise, and indomitability of peace activist Leymah Gbowee, and wonder how she would change history next.

Word Count: 250
KatD1212   
Dec 28, 2018
Undergraduate / What is your role in your immediate family - GT Supplemental Essay [5]

Overall I like the response, and I think it answers the promt. The biggest thing I noticed was that the first and second paragraphs feel very disconnected from each other. I think you need to find a way to make that transition less jarring, and make it feel less like each paragraph is meant to only answer one specific part of the promt (1st paragraph answers "What is your role..." and 2nd answers "And how have you...").

Also, in the first paragraph, the colon separating "...my parents are at work" and "But..." is weird and unnecessary. You could just say "...are at work. As the "referee"..."

Good luck!
KatD1212   
Dec 28, 2018
Undergraduate / I see myself at Dartmouth -Dartmouth supplement (100) [6]

I like the essay, and you were able to fit a lot in the hundred word limit. However, I agree with Holt that it's a little unfocused, and the repetitive use of "I see..." as a sentence starter reads as a little list-like and unenthusiastic.
KatD1212   
Dec 27, 2018
Undergraduate / Rigorous academia and study - What factors influenced your decision to apply to Barnard College? [3]

I'm applying to Barnard in a few days, and any advice on this essay would be greatly appreciated!

Why Barnard?



What factors influenced your decision to apply to Barnard College and why do you think the College would be a good match for you? (100-250 words)

The first person to suggest I apply to Barnard was my college advisor, Dr. Paula Tyler. As a professed feminist and liberal, I was unenthused by Texas' landscape of conservative schools, and Barnard was her first recommendation to truly catch my attention. Still unsure about applying to a school I knew little about, I began researching the

university online. As I read about the school's history of advocacy for gender equality in education, its legacy of female leadership, and its commitment to environmental sustainability, I found that Barnard embodies many of my personal beliefs and hopes for society. As a woman entering the male-dominated field of mathematics, I find Barnard's feminist history and commitment to advancing women in academia appealing. Confidence and assertiveness are necessary in professional life, and Barnard's diverse, dynamic community is the perfect environment to nurture such intellectual self-assuredness.

Although I intend to major in Applied Mathematics, I refuse to abandon my interests in the arts, humanities or social sciences, and Barnard's liberal arts curriculum would allow me to study a variety of topics and disciplines. Outside the classroom, the Summer Research Institute would provide unique opportunities to conduct and present research,

and become more involved in a variety of STEM fields. I could also continue to indulge my love of performing, as the theatre department's productions are open to non-majors.

I've found that Barnard provides the perfect blend of rigorous academia, interdisciplinary study, extracurricular opportunities, and close-knit community, and that such a challenging, empowering environment is ideal for the next stage of my life.

Word Count: 258
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