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Posts by thuy2712
Name: Thuy
Joined: Jan 2, 2019
Last Post: Jan 5, 2019
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Posts: 1  
From: Viet Nam
School: Academy of Finance

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thuy2712   
Jan 5, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS II : Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? [4]

you should not write a question in your introduction.
and in the same part, I think it should be "weaknesses"

"the hot issues"
"few years ago which is male cannot.." => could not

"it might be the ancient people thinking"

"they do not allow cutting ..." => they were not allowed to cut

"From that example shows"

I think you should use "gender requirement" in stead of "gender needed"
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