Posts by NOTTHESTEVEN [Suspended]

NOTTHESTEVEN

Jan 6, 2019

Undergraduate / Film-making interest - USC Supplement [5]

Personally, I would explain what film making means to you in the introduction. Simply modifying to personal pronouns should do the job. Your middle paragraph already answers your interest for film making. Please use the second last paragraph to focus and build upon your middle paragraph. You're effectively contradicting yourself with the third paragraph. Also, leaving an open ended question is never a good idea and I would not describe it as a hobby as it was derived by something more meaningful than what hobby describes. Make a statement that instead includes the magnitude of your passions applications inside that school.

NOTTHESTEVEN

Jan 2, 2019

Undergraduate / "How we lost to win" - New York University Abu Dhabi #Prompt2 [2]

I've noticed it seems you're writing a novel and not an essay. You do however include good information such as a general conclusion of your "essay". In many occurrences you need to ask yourself "how & why". For example; an instance of this is when you mention that your contributed 43 points. You do not explain to the interpreter of how "it basically meant nothing in the end". You instead need to demonstrate why it meant nothing. Your conclusion seems accurate however it in a literal sense is not accurate because you did not explain why or how you came to these conclusions. Instead you only state your conclusions. So please, remove the emotion from your story and make it an essay Otherwise I would say you've written a very good novel.

Please note, if this is meant to be a story then a prompt would be nice. It's hard to determine what the criteria for this piece is.

NOTTHESTEVEN

Jan 2, 2019

Undergraduate / IVEY (Business school supplementary essay) It needs to be shortened roughly 100 words! [2]

Consider all the extracurricular activities (community involvement, paid and/or volunteer work experience, entrepreneurial ventures) that you have been involved in during the past four years. Select three activities that you feel demonstrate your leadership abilities best. Focus your description on elements that demonstrate: teamwork, initiative, achievement, commitment and breadth.

(THE FORMER IS THE PROMPT)

I am a recognized tutor and leader

Having always had a passion for developing comprehension while having developed my own comprehension of this concept. As a result, I am a recognized tutor and leader within my school community and those surrounding. I have been able to use my experiences during tutoring to develop and apply analytical skills, introduce experiential learning, manage complex concepts, set and achieve goals as well as develop an understanding for commitment for my peers.

At the start of my tutoring experience I pledged to commit to the requirements of a peers need over my own. With this commitment, my current schedule had to accommodate to my current peers demand. With the uncertainty of dates peers required help I was required to manage my current objectives and the possibility of new demands to successfully fulfill this commitment. While tutoring, I was able to drastically develop peers analytical skills. Additionally, I helped them perceive the importance of analytical skills in any career path by using their own experiences. I was able to develop their analytical skills by practicing word problems that applied to real life applications while providing the same analytical skills taught to help diagnose a problem when they would arise. Within weeks, my peers were able to demonstrate success of their newfound analytical skills when I introduced them to experiential learning. I would lead my peers into other group tutoring sessions that were organized by me to have them analyze their applications while helping others.

While also teaching some peers skills mentioned in the former, I was able to have the experience of working directly as a computer science tutor. Both, in class and during pre-arranged tutoring sessions, I was able to apply similar methods of applied thinking to simplify complex concepts. Having introduced myself with two-dimensional arrays, I was able to use this opportunity to manage this seemingly complex topic by using comparative analysis and the prior experience that a peer had, to produce connections that supported their own decisions when writing their programs. I was able to help peers create not only their assigned work, but the ability to manage these complex topics from occurrences similar to this.

A final contribution I have made is create an understanding of commitment for my peers. Having had many deterrents in my life I was able to speak from experience on the importance of commitment. I was able to demonstrate that commitment will produce results when applied in both school and outside struggles. This was done by persuasively communicating the long-term benefits that were not commonly conceived from an initial understanding.The impact of this conceptual understanding became apparent when I was approached by an ESL student who required assistance in his english course. I was able to implement an understanding that he-himself has accredited to his success in both his english studies and his personal conflicts as a foreigner.

The leadership and commitment that I have demonstrated over several years has allowed me to demonstrate to myself that I can successfully apply these skills by dedicating myself in benefiting others and subsequently, myself. As a tutor I recognized this ability by demonstrating what the definition of an ivey student is through the action I have taken in peers struggles and the development of essential foundation for themselves to further their success, all while managing and developing an understanding of the need to act upon a peers. I am excited to be given an opportunity to further my contributions and the development of my own skills while completing my HBA degree.