Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by rsrag
Name: Rachel Sragovicz
Joined: Jan 7, 2019
Last Post: Jan 8, 2019
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
Likes: 1
From: United States
School: La Jolla High School

Displayed posts: 3
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
rsrag   
Jan 8, 2019
Undergraduate / Veganism Journey - Common Application [2]

Few things, mainly go deeper. Get to the root of why you decided to go vegan, and why you decided to stop. I would recommend a bit more insight on why you didn't want to bring "fake cheese" and how the stereotypes of vegan people impacted your journey. I like the sarcasm and dramatic wording, it shows personality.

As you can see, my newfound dietary choices ... I would avoid telling them this, as it disrupts the narrative a bit. Also when you talk about how veganism isn't possible for everyone, either delve deeper or delete it. Lastly, I believe that attending college may be the first step in the process expand this! How will college be a catalyst for personal growth? Why do you think it will be more effective that a dietary change?

Feel free to ignore any points, best of luck!
rsrag   
Jan 8, 2019
Undergraduate / Essay for Common App: Technology-What I think [3]

Ok a few things, I think it is a good starting point but needs to be developed a bit. You chose this topic because it reflects who you are, why are you so interested in technology? Why is it more interesting to you than literature or biology? A necessary addition to this essay is some kind of anecdote that ties in your reason for this essay.

Specifically: Today's world has seen technology [...] use it at daily basis. Combine these

Technology is beneficial in ... Without it, I ... Expand this! Here is your chance to show your writing style and elevated language. Don't use "many" it is too vague.

First of all let's talk about, what is technology? I personally don't think you need this because it makes the essay sounds more like a school assignment than a personal reflection.

Overall, try to make it more personal. I would only use a portion of this and use the other to expand on its importance and potentially what you have done in this area that has fostered your interest. Hopefully this is not coming too late as I know many deadlines have already past.
rsrag   
Jan 7, 2019
Undergraduate / "What Political Party are You?" -Georgetown question too open-ended and common app doesn't fit [2]

words which you feel best describes you



Hi everyone, I've never used this before but need to submit my Georgetown application Thursday and am looking for some feedback. I am trying to reuse an essay but I'm not sure how well it describes me. I also talk a lot about my religion so Idk how that would look for a jesuit school. Thanks.

Here is the prompt: As Georgetown is a diverse community, the Admissions Committee would like to know more about you in your own words. Please submit a brief essay, either personal or creative, which you feel best describes you.

I still remember the shock I experienced when looking at the results of a "What Political Party are You?" quiz that I took in my 10th grade AP Government class. I had never considered myself as a person with radical ideals, but I scored at the far left of the political spectrum. It was at that moment that I was forced to see the obvious disparity between my religion and my political viewpoints. As a Modern Orthodox Jew, many aspects of my life are informed by my religion, which often conflict with my liberal ideologies. According to the Pew Research Center, white evangelical Protestants and Mormons are the only other religious groups which are as consistently conservative and right-leaning as Orthodox Jews. I was left to ask myself what motivated my politically liberal viewpoint, and how I could reconcile it with my Orthodox Jewish identity.

It seemed that my life was characterized by this complex balance of my religious and personal perspectives of the world around me. I experienced tension between these two perspectives while on a trip to Israel; I consider it my ancestral homeland, yet cannot ignore the current political climate of the region. It is a highly-disputed territory with two conflicting sides that may never find a compromise. While on this trip, I spent three days with the Israeli army, listening to the double standard to which Israeli soldiers are held, unable to shoot obvious threats to security for fear of public uproar. I then returned home and walked through the university only a block away from my home, and I heard protestors campaigning against my homeland, which they don't see as beautiful and honest, but rather a country that does not merit existence and must be "returned."

In addition to contrasting perspectives regarding political issues, the coexistence of my Orthodox Jewish and liberal perspectives is challenged by a variety of social issues. I read in the Torah, the Jewish bible, how life is a gift and must not be wasted, and then watch women whose lives are torn apart because they did not choose motherhood. These contradictions Seeing the world through a religious lens, while maintaining awareness of the nuance of social and political issues, can sometimes feel impossible.

As I sat looking at the results of the AP Government quiz, I realized that in order to reconcile these contradictory viewpoints I needed to get to the root of my ideals. Instead of seeing my values as incompatible, I chose to see each viewpoint as an equal contributor to a broader, more nuanced perspective. I took a Jewish history class at my school which connected science to Judaism, helping to explain the discrepancies that I once saw. I talked to my Rabbi, my parents, and my teachers, looking to them for potential answers. I came to realize that the key to synthesizing my religious and secular perspectives lies in a key characteristic of Judaism - it has never been forced on others. Our core values include being strong as an individual and a community. This distinction makes all the difference: as an individual I hold myself to certain standards, but I believe in personal choice and my political views reflect that. While this idea may not solve all of my questions, it does point me towards a solution. I believe that the modern world can not only coexist with my religion, but aid my understanding as I slowly unveil the confusing idiosyncrasies that I encounter.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳