Graduate / Pharmcas- Pharmacy school personal statement! [3]

First of all, let me praise you, you did a great job!

About the content. From my perspective, it will be more appropriate if you avoid going too deep into details in your stories, outlining main problems that exist and showing how you found out about them shortly will be enough.This will give you space to mention why you choose this university and this department. May be it's about a specific programme that they conduct or subjects you want to follow. I would be more precise about how the degree would help to solve the problem that i mentioned.

Wish you luck!