Scholarship / "Why do you think you are excellent?" - Digital Marketing Communications [2]

I have had much curiosity and thirst... Revise: I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge in Media & Communications, my field of study.
Therefore During my study in ... and luckily(I would say to take this word out, unless it's necessary for politeness, if that is a big factor where you come from) managed to ...

Academics are not my only priority, however. I actively participated in many education-related extra-curricular activities like such as being aTeaching Assistant or and the Academic and Cultural Program. By working with international students, I had the chance to expose myself to different cultures and solve cross-cultural problems, consequently developed a higher sense of empathy and adaptability examples?. Furthermore, I also managed several large-scale events and projects in a limited timeframe, hence which significantly enhanced my leadership, confidence and interpersonal skills. Meanwhile(remove this because you're giving examples to the previous sentence) I also contributed to the Vietnamese community in Japan by leading the Campaign Team of Vietnamese Youth & Student Association. I couldexpressed my imagination and creativity through by proposingthe proposal of new ideas, anddrafting marketing content and communication materials for the association's brand image and on-campus events. Thus I connected hundreds of Vietnamese students on campus together and makemade our community a stronger, more cohesive one. Marketing is a robust and dynamic field, so getting hands-on experiences like this is truly valuable for me, and I believe L T University's prestigious faculty and in-depth academic program will assist me in becoming a well-rounded communication expert.

As a post-graduate student in Digital Marketing Communications, I wouldwill strikeaim for greater achievements, and contribute both academically and professionally to L T University.

I only figured out the formatting of my edits halfway through, so if you have any questions, just ask. I wish you luck in your scholarship application!

Writing Feedback / Essay on the economy and environment [3]

I know it's not part of your essay but the correct form of feedback is always singular (not feedbacks) as feedback cannot be counted (can use many, more, etc.)

There has been a heated debate (remove a, since there is more than one debate and it is ongoing) or use 'There is heated debate'

"In other words, the more determined people are to make their countries succeed economically economically booming, the more relentlessly they will deplete the Earth of its resources."

paid on the health of our life-supporting system. --> paid to the health of our life-support system

"On the other hand, however,"
Third Paragraph: 'on the other hand' and 'however' can be used in place of each other in most cases, you only need one, and since 'on one hand' was used in the second paragraph, I suggest you remove 'however'

strengthen --> strengthening

I felt that the conclusion was quite effective. There were a few sentences that I had to read twice to find the meaning of, due to grammar. Some sentences could be reworded to be shorter and to the point. Overall, it was well-written and appropriate to the topic, as it discussed both sides of the argument. My formatting may have been a bit confusing (first post!) so just ask if you need clarification. Based on this writing, I think you'll do better on the IELTS this time around :)