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May 16, 2019
Writing Feedback / Ielts Essay task 2 - young children play video games - problems and solutions [4]
Hey guys. I would love to to get some feedback from my ielts writing task 2. Feel free to put forward any suggestions, thank you!!
Many people today are worried about young children playing video games. What problems might these games cause, for children and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced?
Video games appear to be entertaining, pleasurable and beneficial to young children in so many ways. However, their fatal attractions also pose a major threat to children's health and wellbeing as they push boundaries and get more and more involved in numerous video games.
There is strong evidence to suggest that gameaholics who spend a large amount of time in front of a screen easily have health problems. Without control, that indulging in games for a long period of time might hinder them from (make them neglect) outdoor as well as healthy activities and even worse skipping meals or simply selecting fast food and junk food rather than eating a balanced diet, which increases the possibility of suffering from serious diseases such as malnutrition, myopia, skin disorders, inducing repetitive strain injuries, depression, fatigue and even death.
To handle this problem, the proposal that parents should set the screen time limits for their children is put forward. According to this opinion, gamers are supposed to take regular breaks, for instance, a short fifteen minutes rest every 45 minutes of gameplay. Furthermore, placing game technologies in shared family space instead of their own private room also help parents keep an eye on their daughters and sons with awareness. These methods so effectively would give children more relaxation time to eat in moderation and to be likely to consider a healthy relationship outside with friends, staying away from interactive, immersive video games.
To sum up, there is no doubt that young children might be able to suffer from having multiple medical decisions when getting exposed to video games more often than they are aware of. Nevertheless, a possible solution could be restricting their playing time.
Young gameaholics
Hey guys. I would love to to get some feedback from my ielts writing task 2. Feel free to put forward any suggestions, thank you!!
Many people today are worried about young children playing video games. What problems might these games cause, for children and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced?
Video games appear to be entertaining, pleasurable and beneficial to young children in so many ways. However, their fatal attractions also pose a major threat to children's health and wellbeing as they push boundaries and get more and more involved in numerous video games.
There is strong evidence to suggest that gameaholics who spend a large amount of time in front of a screen easily have health problems. Without control, that indulging in games for a long period of time might hinder them from (make them neglect) outdoor as well as healthy activities and even worse skipping meals or simply selecting fast food and junk food rather than eating a balanced diet, which increases the possibility of suffering from serious diseases such as malnutrition, myopia, skin disorders, inducing repetitive strain injuries, depression, fatigue and even death.
To handle this problem, the proposal that parents should set the screen time limits for their children is put forward. According to this opinion, gamers are supposed to take regular breaks, for instance, a short fifteen minutes rest every 45 minutes of gameplay. Furthermore, placing game technologies in shared family space instead of their own private room also help parents keep an eye on their daughters and sons with awareness. These methods so effectively would give children more relaxation time to eat in moderation and to be likely to consider a healthy relationship outside with friends, staying away from interactive, immersive video games.
To sum up, there is no doubt that young children might be able to suffer from having multiple medical decisions when getting exposed to video games more often than they are aware of. Nevertheless, a possible solution could be restricting their playing time.
