Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - WHICH BENEFITS OF TAKING A GAP YEAR FROM A SCHOOL? [3]

Delaying studying for one year

Hello everyone,

My name is Dat, I'm a new member and this is my first post, just discovered this amazingly helpful forum, so I decided to post an essay here, I'm preparing for the IELTS test btw. Please give me feedbacks and a band score if possible, I've never taken the test before.

The essay was written by me in approximately 23 minutes. Feel free to comment.

Topic: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Presently, there has been a surge in popularity of high school graduates choosing to take a gap year before entering universities, mainly for working or traveling purposes. While some may think this procrastination is time-wasting and disruptive for the academic progress of youngsters, it would be unfounded to say this tendency does not bring any benefits whatsoever.

To begin with, advocates of the mentioned idea of taking a gap year suggest that as long as the skipped time between high school and college is well-spent, it can actually be valuable for newly-grads. To illustrate, if one decides to apply for an actual job at a company, he or she may develop awareness of what a genuine working experience is like and therefore, come up with a better decision of which major should he or she choose when enrolling in tertiary education. For instance, one year of practicum in a highly-interactive job such as a sale agent can help a student whose original aim was to study Information Technology to discover which job suits him or her best. In other words, it is undoubted that delaying college can actually be good for young people in terms of completing their perspectives.

Nevertheless, antagonists of the above idea claim that a year spent without any formal education is a total waste of time and can detrimentally affect students' learning process. According to them, when being away from an educational environment for a long period, students might fail to recall the academic knowledge that they have acquired previously, which inhibits their capacity when attending universities. However, this idea is not applicable to all cases, as many students, including those who travel during their gap year, are exposed to various new aspects of knowledge, from languages to practical skills at work like presentation or team-working, which assist them greatly in college. Thence, if the gap year is not squandered for pointless purpose, it will actually bring more merits to youngsters than demerits.

All in all, given the fact that a gap year is a relatively long span for students if they choose not to proceed to college immediately after high school, some hold belief that the drawbacks incurred from this are obvious. I am, however, inclined to the idea that this decision tends to create more favorable outcomes for students as long as they spend this time wisely. (393 words)

Thank you sincerely!!
Dat Nguyen