Posts by MiAnnn

MiAnnn

Jun 18, 2019

Writing Feedback / The graph shows the proportion of people visiting 4 destinations in Brighton - period of 1980 & 2010 [2]

Tourists to England - LINE GRAPH (ACADEMIC WRITING)

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph demonstrates the proportion of people visiting 4 destinations in Brighton during the period of 1980 and 2010
As can be seen from the graph,it is clearly evident that the patterns greatly differed over the time frame.While the number of tourists visit pavilion as well as pier tended to increase,that of festival and art galley had an downward trend.

The percentage of visitors to pavilion went up steadily by 30% from more than 20% to nearly 50% between 1980 and 1995. But later this pattern dove steeply to around 35% and gradually declined to 30% in 2010.The percentage of people go to pier had some slight fluctuations then after 2000 there was a dramatic upward to more than 20% in 2010.

An opposite pattern could be observed in the number of visitors to art gallery.As it reached a peak of about 40% in 1985 ,moreover the years 1995 and 2010 experienced a nonstop drop to approximately 10% .

The proportion of tourists to festival remained relatively unchanged around 30%.
( SOME QUESTIONS:
-How can i make a comparision in this
-Are there any word to use instead of "Proportion" or "percentage"?
- Is it okay to use the phrase " the number of " in the "%" essay ?

MiAnnn

Jun 17, 2019

Writing Feedback / The chart reveals the data about global sales of IT products (2000 - 2003) [5]

Hello there! Your writing is great!
And this is my feedback:
- In my opinion : instead of using the phrase" We can see that" , you can say " As can be seen from the graph"
-Some useful synonyms of the word " accounted for " :"took up " , " made up", " occupied "
-At the beginning you can say "The graph demonstrates /illustrates/ shows/gives the information about"
-During the same time period = during the time frame= during the studied period= during the period of time
- approximately = around= about= roughly= close to
Thank you for reading my feedback , hope this will help you !
And best wish for you !

MiAnnn

Jun 17, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay Task 1 on Water usage in different areas in the world [3]

hello there !
Your writing is great !
But still there are some mistakes like :
-in the last paragraph , you said " on the other hand" . If you want to say that, before " on the other hand" there must have some phrases like: "on the one hand"

-you can say "others" instead of "other agricultural countries" to be brief to use for creating mixed variety of structures!
-Some words that synonyms with " accounted for" may be really useful for you are: made up, occupied
( By the way , maybe you should post the picture of the on your writing for us to help you much more easy )

Thank you for reading my feedback!

Hoping this feedback can help you and hope you will achieve your goal !

MiAnnn

Jun 15, 2019

Writing Feedback / TASK 1 ( IELTS ACADEMIC ) Outokumpu companies share price - LINE GRAPH [3]

the change of share-priced of outokumpu companies

The line graph demonstrates the change of share-priced of outokumpu companies in a five-year period from january 2006 throught december 2010.
As can be seen from the graph, it is clearly evident that the pattern of share price greatly differed over the time frame.
At the beginning of the course, the share price stood at about 12.5 EUR .This figure then had some fluctuations around 17 to 20 EUR in 2006.
The year 2007 experienced a rapid climb in the share price which reached a peak of more than 30 EUR.The share price then dove dramatically by 10 EUR from 30 to 20 EUR in between 2007 and mid 2008.

In 2018 , The share price underwented a fast upward trend (around 30 EURO) .However this did not last long, the share price came down steeply to approximately 7 EUR in the beginning of 2009.During the period of 2009 and 2010,there was a violent fluctuation in the amount of price share .And finally , at the end of the period ,the price share was ,around 10 EUR.

The line graph below shows the changes in the share price of Outokumpu companies in euros between January 2006 and December 2010.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

The line graph below shows the changes in the share price of Outokumpu companies in euros between Ja