Writing Feedback / More and more children no longer have creative thinking - is it because of technology development? [3]

introduction:

this sentence seems to be unhelpful and does not help increase your score.
"They become less interested in amazing science atmospheres or less likely to have fun by themselves."

degradation is not an appropriate word in this context, it is advisable to replace it with being less imaginative, unoriginal, or innovative.

although the main question/s of the topic is/are not unknown, it seems that your paragraph 3 is irrelevant or off-topic.

in addition, the conclusion is not written very well and could not be considered as a good one.

Writing Feedback / IT Aspects - IT ENABLES PEOPLE TO DO THEIR WORK OUTSIDE THEIR WORKPLACE - IELTS Task 2 [3]

introduction:
you wrote 3 sentences to transfer the concept of the topic but it is to some extent vogue. I suggest to just paraphrase the task like the following:

with information technology emerging, people are able to work at their homes. although this development brings drawbacks, in my opinion, it does more good than harm to society.

Information technology has provided people with the opportunity to work at their homes. while it prompts downsides, its upsides deserves more attention.

concerning body 1 or paragraph 2:
your ideas are not well supported. how it reduces the costs is not well explained. you can say the costs of mobility, or maybe drinking and eating. these are just examples.

you can also mention doing homework such as cleaning, cooking, shopping, upbringing and taking care of children.

I hope you find these comments useful.