Fazziee
Sep 29, 2019
Scholarship / Leadership is the ability to influence and guide other members of an organization [4]
Bianca weldone with your essay and goodluck with your Chevening application. I'm also applying for this year's cohort. In essence, we are in it together. Meanwhile, permit me to contribute a little.
This will be the first essay that will connect you with the reviewer so it has to make a good impression about your personality and why the reviewer should pique an interest in the rest of the essays. I think your introduction is not hooking enough. You should probably consider eliminating the defination of leadership and start with the quote or a personal story that highlights your ability to influence.
Remember, the prompt focuses on leadership and influence. So you can talk about your ability to influence as well with a relevant example of how you've done it before. I still feel your leadership experiences aren't robust enough, although that doesn't mean you must have held a position with the UN or pioneered a ground breaking movement. It could be as little as a post you effectively handled in school. For example, your quiz or debate experience is ok but focus more on yourself not your colleague. Something like I charged my colleague to be confident and made her rehearsed repeatedly for the competition. Your essay is a tool to sell yourself, always keep this in mind.
Also use word contractions to effectively maximize the word limit. For example, instead of 'I summoned courage and place a call to my supervision and told him what is happening and he gave me direct orders to lead the following students so we carry out the necessary test (34 words)', you can say 'Courageously, I informed my supervisor on the situation and he instructed me to engage the students for the task (19 words)'.
Try not to exaggerate as well. So many corps members were fainting somehow creates a false picture of your statement. You can consider 'I voluntarily joined the red cross team to assist in ensuring the well-being and safety of corps members through the rigourous training exercises in the camp.
Finally, I will advise you take a day to do an introspection, recall how you have influenced a particular cause or how you have led effectively in a specific area. Goodluck to us once more.
Bianca weldone with your essay and goodluck with your Chevening application. I'm also applying for this year's cohort. In essence, we are in it together. Meanwhile, permit me to contribute a little.
This will be the first essay that will connect you with the reviewer so it has to make a good impression about your personality and why the reviewer should pique an interest in the rest of the essays. I think your introduction is not hooking enough. You should probably consider eliminating the defination of leadership and start with the quote or a personal story that highlights your ability to influence.
Remember, the prompt focuses on leadership and influence. So you can talk about your ability to influence as well with a relevant example of how you've done it before. I still feel your leadership experiences aren't robust enough, although that doesn't mean you must have held a position with the UN or pioneered a ground breaking movement. It could be as little as a post you effectively handled in school. For example, your quiz or debate experience is ok but focus more on yourself not your colleague. Something like I charged my colleague to be confident and made her rehearsed repeatedly for the competition. Your essay is a tool to sell yourself, always keep this in mind.
Also use word contractions to effectively maximize the word limit. For example, instead of 'I summoned courage and place a call to my supervision and told him what is happening and he gave me direct orders to lead the following students so we carry out the necessary test (34 words)', you can say 'Courageously, I informed my supervisor on the situation and he instructed me to engage the students for the task (19 words)'.
Try not to exaggerate as well. So many corps members were fainting somehow creates a false picture of your statement. You can consider 'I voluntarily joined the red cross team to assist in ensuring the well-being and safety of corps members through the rigourous training exercises in the camp.
Finally, I will advise you take a day to do an introspection, recall how you have influenced a particular cause or how you have led effectively in a specific area. Goodluck to us once more.
