Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by kasey14
Joined: Oct 5, 2009
Last Post: Oct 15, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
Likes:
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 2
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
kasey14   
Oct 15, 2009
Undergraduate / virginia tech admission essay- I need help cutting it down [5]

Thank you both very much. Those are all very helpful tips and ideas and I will be sure to implement them all on my essay. It's due in a couple of weeks with my app and I feel much more confident about it thanks to you two.
kasey14   
Oct 5, 2009
Undergraduate / virginia tech admission essay- I need help cutting it down [5]

VT has three optional 250 word essays. My test scores and GPA are average, and I'm really hoping my essays will help me stand out. One topic gives you the option to explain bad grades, so I took advantage of this option to explain my personal life. The only problem is that it's 383 words instead of 250. I need help cutting it down because I can't make it any smaller without taking away from the essay. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

I slammed the front door behind me as I dashed down my driveway. I didn't know where I was headed, and I didn't care; I just wanted to get away. Tears distorted my vision and anger pulsed through every vein in my body. She had hurt me; the one person I cared most about, my mother, had let me down. My life was changing drastically and I was clinging to any source of stability I could grasp. But there was nothing to cling to. I walked fiercely over the autumn leaves that blazed red and orange against the pavement, like the blistering emotions burning inside of me. I sat down when I reached a cleared field at the top of my street, out of breath. I began reminiscing on the past couple of months. How did I get to this point? I wondered.

Following my parents' recent divorce, I discovered that my mother had been having an affair with my new stepdad. Along with taking up infidelity, she had also picked up his habit of drinking alcohol excessively. Our once close relationship had deteriorated rapidly. She went from being a loving mother to an angry time bomb, waiting to explode at the slightest provocation. My younger brother refused to deal with her drunken rampages and was threatening to move away to reside with my dad. My family had been ripped apart.

It wasn't until the end of my freshman year that my mother realized the extent of her transformation and sought out help through a family counseling service. But having my family disrupted so abruptly, so dramatically, had taken a toll on every facet of my life. This emotional crisis in my life deeply affected my well being, my relationship with friends, my ability to trust, and my performance in school. My grades my freshman year were mediocre, because that's all I felt that I was. I made the mistake of letting destructive emotions dictate my life. I have learned from this experience to stand strong against adverse changes in life and not allow them affect things that are important to me, such as my academics. Although my mother has never fully recovered from her issues, particularly alcoholism, I have continued to do well in school following this time period in my life.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳